


Out Of Nothing At All

by Cherrys_Criminal_Mind



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 43,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28262058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind/pseuds/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind
Summary: Facing an unexpected challenge in her life, the reader must overcome her dislike of her colleague, Spencer Reid and work with him in order to build a better future for herself and their unborn child.**previously posted but was removed for various reasons. Now reposting **
Relationships: Spencer Reid & Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

“You really should go get that checked out Y/N.” This was the fifth time in as many minutes that Spencer had said the same thing.

Shifting the ice pack against the back of your head, you scowled at him.

“When exactly did you finish medical school Reid? Oh wait…….. ” He was annoying you, you were fine. It was just a bump. And a few scratches. And a sprained ankle. Nothing that a hot bath, some bandages and a fuck ton of antibacterial cream wouldn’t cure.

“You need stitches as well. That cut on your arm is nasty, if you don’t get it treated properly you stand an 74 percent chance of developing an infection.” 

“Please go and bother somebody else before I punch you. Please?” You just wanted to get back to headquarters. You were exhausted from the chase that had caused your mild injuries.

Luckily though, Derek Morgan had been with you when the unsub had made his dash for freedom, knocking you into the ditch as he went, you cracking your head on a rock at the bottom. The rest of the team had arrived minutes later, finding Morgan with the unsub pinned underneath him, and you flailing like a turtle stuck on its back.

Reid and JJ had carefully made their ways down into the ditch, passing by the bushes that had torn your hands to shreds as you’d tried to grab them to keep yourself from falling, unsuccessfully. You’d leant on them for support as they pulled you back up the hill and out of the wooded area to the parking lot.

The unsub apprehended and on his way to the local jail, Reid was insisting that you go to the local ER to get your injuries and checked out. You were fine though. Apart from wanting to seriously hurt your colleague if rambled off one more random fact about brain injuries sometimes not being apparent straight away, or flesh eating bacteria that you could have contracted from the stagnant water of the shallow pond you’d ended up in.

Reid looked hurt, but started to walk away from the back of SUV you were sitting in, nursing your ankle and head with emergency ice packs. You know, the sort where you break the fluid inside setting of some sort of chemical reaction that made them cold. No doubt Dr Reid would be able to explain perfectly how they went from solid plastic to cool bits of ice sent from heaven to ease your pain. Not that you were going to ask him.

Ahhh, peace and quiet. Until the door on the other side of the vehicle opened and he started to slide in next to you.

Nope nope nope. Not happening. The drive home was three hours long, the jet having been in for an emergency service and the team not being to all get on commercial flights fast enough. You were not spending three hours in the back seat of an SUV with Reid. You’d rather sleep in the ditch you’d not long been dragged out of.

You slid out of the vehicle, wincing as your swollen ankle hit the hard ground as you hobbled across the concrete hearing Spencer protesting behind you.

Making your way over to the vehicle Agent Hotchner had arrived in, you begged him to allow you to ride home with him. Morgan and Rossi had left already, tailing the squad car containing the unsub to the station to fill out the required paper work. This left you, Agents Jareau and Prentiss, Dr Reid, and your boss, Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.

“Please sir, you know how much he winds me up. I just want to pass out for three hours and you know he’ll insist on keeping me awake, jabbering on about….. I dunno, fucking badgers or something.” Your bosses eyebrows raised at your language and you swiftly muttered an apology. You were still out in the field after all.

“Get in, Emily and Jennifer can ride with Dr Reid. But I’m not listening to that noise you refer to as ‘music’ again.” You grinned, remembering the last you’d driven him somewhere and had forced him to endure the dulcet tones of Corey Taylor.

“Your car, your rules boss man.” You climbed into the passenger side, buckling yourself in and waiting patiently.

Ten minutes or so later and you were off.

“You and Dr Reid really need to sort your differences out you know.” Aaron glanced at you.

“Sir, it’s not like we have that many differences. You know that I respect him and even admire him somewhat. He just….. Doesn’t shut up sometimes.”

“Not unlike someone else I know, sitting not too far from me.” His tone less stern than it had been before.

“Oh hush now. You enjoy hearing me talk, when I get the chance to….. That’s part of the issue. He rarely gives anyone else the chance to talk, always jumping in and interrupting people.”

“Yes but if you’ll recall, his ‘jumping in and interrupting people’ has saved our asses on a number of occasions.” He pointed out.

“True….. But, maybe sometimes I want to be the one to point out how long it would take cross from the gulf of Mexico to France in a one person manned row boat for once.”

Your boss laughed at you and directed his attention back to the road.

It wasn’t that you hated Spencer, or even disliked him. You DID respect his intelligence and ideas, and it was true that his theories had been correct and saved you all and plenty of would be victims on numerous occasions. You got on okay with him at work, even sharing light banter and the odd joke. But he wasn’t who you’d choose to spend large amounts of time with outside of work. And when you feeling pretty shitty like today, you just couldn’t handle his sometimes condescending and preachy tone.

You must have drifted off to sleep as when you woke, the streetlights were starting to come on. Checking your watch you saw you’d been travelling for around an hour. You ran you tongue over teeth, hating that feeling you had when you woke up from a nap.

Adjusting yourself carefully in the seat, you felt a throbbing pain in the back of your head and the sudden taste of bile in the back of your throat.

“Hotch pull over, NOW. ”

The agent pulled over almost immediately, and you just about managed to push your door open wide before the vomit erupted from deep inside of you, your head pounding as you leant over the edge of your seat.

Five minutes later and you settled back into the seat, Aaron handing you a bottle of water and some napkins as he fiddled with the satellite navigation system.

“I’m taking you to the nearest hospital Y/N. We passed one a few miles back.”

“What, no! I’m fine. I swear.” You protested.

“You’ve cracked your head and now you’re vomiting. We’re going, as your boss, I overrule your decision. Better safe than sorry.”

You knew better than to argue with THAT voice and ninety minutes later you were propped up on a hospital bed, having your ankle wrapped professionally and waiting for the results of the labs they’d ran on you and the scan they’d taken of your body and head.

Hotch had made a few calls, letting the team know where you were and you could almost hear Dr Reid gloating. “I told her she needed to get herself checked out, I told her she stood a 135 percent chance of getting abducted by smurfs if she didn’t.” You mimicked his voice inside your head, seeing Hotch put his phone down as the Doctor re entered your room.

“Well your labs have come back fine and the scan looks okay. Nothing abnormal. Given the vomiting though and the size of the egg on the side your head, we’d like to keep you in overnight, just for observation. You’re going to have a pretty nasty bruise there tomorrow.” You sighed as the Doctor turned to Hotch.

“There’s a Holiday Inn two blocks up with pretty decent rates. I can see from your paperwork you’re both based in DC, and it’ll be a pretty long trip home, just to come back for her tomorrow.”

Hotch nodded. “I’ll get a room, the team can manage without me for one night. We’ll debrief when we’re back tomorrow.”

The Doctor turned back to you, smiling softly and placing his hand on your arm.

“And you’ll be pleased to know the baby is fine. Ideally, you should have told the xray technician you were expecting. Normally we don’t like to expose pregnant moms to radiation if we can help it, but I’ll attribute the bang on your head to you not ticking that box on your forms. What are you now, ten to twelve weeks?”


	2. Chapter 2

"Y/N?" Hotch stared at you, taking in the words the doctor had just said. "You're pregnant?"

"No.... " You laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. This must be what they mean when they say that hospitals are under staffed and over worked. People make mistakes. It's fine though."

Turning to the Doctor. "Doc you've got the wrong file. I'm Y/F/N. Date of birth 17 April 1986. Social security number 146295. Definitely NOT pregnant."

"I'm guessing this is news to you then?" He checked the files again quickly.

"It's not news. It's not a fact. I'm not pregnant. How could I be? I've not missed a period. I've not had any sickness. I feel absolutely fine." You racked your brains trying to recall the dates of your last cycle.

Okay, so you'd missed one period. It was two weeks late, but you figured it was due to the stress of the case or something. And you'd had three days of vomiting around a month ago. But that was down to a dodgy burrito. Right. RIGHT!?

"Miss Y/L/N a number of expecting mothers still experience a form of vaginal bleeding all the through their pregnancy, and not all people experience morning sickness. I can run another test quickly, if you're able to provide a urine sample. I can run it here, in front of you."

You nodded, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and holding your arm out expectantly. "Give me a cup and get the test please. I am NOT fucking pregnant. You've got this wrong."

The doctor sighed and opened one of the storage cupboards that lined the room, handing you a small plastic beaker.

You hobbled through to the bathroom, returning moments later and handing the tub over. In the meantime he'd collected two plastic boxes, them both your standard run of the mill drugstore testing kits.

"I'll do two tests as I can see you're going to take some convincing but I can assure you, the tests are accurate."

You watched as he unwrapped both boxes and dipped the ends of both sticks into the fluid, laying them down one by one on a tray.

Hotch moved from his seat by the window closer to you, and you settled back onto the bed waiting the required thirty seconds. You couldn't read the expression on your bosses face.

You waited, your breath held until the time was up and the doctor checked the sticks before handing them both to you.

Plus signs. On both.

It took you half a minute to realise that the strangled cat you could then hear wailing was yourself. The doctor began to back away muttering an "I'll leave you alone" and you felt Aarons cool hand on your arm attempting to soothe you.

"Wait. Don't leave. Get it out. Get it out of me." You were yelling.

"Pardon?"

"You heard. I don't want it. Get it out of me. Now. Today. I have money . I'll pay whatever. I'm not leaving here until it's no longer a problem."

"Agent Y/N....Think about what you're saying." Hotch was trying to keep the shock out of his voice.

"I'm being serious. Get it out of me. I do not want a child. I'm not Mommy material." Swiping away the tears that were streaming down your face, you stared at the medical professional until he agreed to make a call and send someone down from the clinic to speak with you.

They arrived thirty minutes later, Agent Hotchner leaving the room so you could speak in private. You shot down every option the poor women offered you, impatiently telling them that, no adoption wasn't an option and no you didn't need time to think about this. You wanted it done now.

Eventually they relented advising that they could do the procedure tomorrow. As you weren't far along, it would be fairly straight forward although you blocked them out as they explained what it would involve, leaving you with a pile of pamphlets.

Hotch came back into the room after the woman had left.

"I apologise for my outburst sir. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Its fine. Are you okay?" Concern coating his voice.

"I'm fine. Or at least I will be tomorrow."

"Are you sure about this Y/N?"

"One hundred percent. I do not want children. "

"But you're great with Jack and Henry. I don't understand. You'd make a great mother."

"Hotch, please don't."

He sighed. "What about the father?"

"What about the father exactly?" You asked.

"Well do you not think he deserves to know?"

"Nope. It's my body and my choice. I'm not having this THING ruin my life."

"Okay. If you're sure this is what you want then as your boss and friend I'll help in anyway I can."

"Thank you sir."

........The next day........

The ride home was long, and quiet. You kept your gaze averted from your travelling companions, tears silently rolling down your face as you contemplated your predicament.

You'd been checked over an hour ago, and been cleared to leave the hospital, Hotch leading you carefully back to the SUV.

He'd stayed with you all day, arriving early at the hospital and waiting outside the clinical white room where they'd taken you to perform the procedure.

When you'd panicked and started to yelling and crying, he'd been the one holding you, rubbing your back and stroking your hair as the nurses looked on sympathetically, used to this sort of reaction. He was going above and beyond the duty of just a boss, and you'd never forget him for being there for you today.

Every fibre of your body wanted the bundle of cells that had taken up residence in your womb expelled from it.

But when you'd been lying there in the hospital bed, legs akimbo in the metal stirrups, something else had taken over.   
Something had made you panic, crying out for your colleague whilst you struggled to breathe.

You couldn't do it.

You didn't want to be a Mom, you could barely take care of yourself let alone be responsible for another human being.

And you knew adoption wouldn't be an option.

But you couldn't bring yourself to end the pregnancy. Some fighting urge, some deeply hidden maternal instinct had kicked in and you hated what that meant.

You were going to have a baby.

A crying, messy, vomiting baby.

Ew.

You could sense Hotch watching you as he pulled into your street, parking outside your house. He'd been quiet too on the way home, leaving you to your thoughts.

"Y/N. We're here."

You made no move to exit the car.

"Y/N. You're going to be okay. You're one of the strongest people I know."

Nodding, you opened the door and picked your bag up, your ankle still sore as you slid out of the seat.

Hotch followed you to your door.

"Are you going to tell the father? He could help."

"No. I'll do this alone."

He looked uncomfortable as he asked th next question. "Do you... Do you know who the father is?"

You didn't judge him for asking. It was no secret that you'd had a few lovers over the past twelve months, having come out of a five year relationship. It had become kinda a joke across the team in fact.

"Yes I know who the father is Hotch. And....I don't want to involve him. He's not a bad person or anything but it was a one night only thing and I have no desire to have any sort of relationship with him."

He nodded. You could tell he disagreed but wasn't going to push the matter.

Up until you'd ended up in this position yourself, you'd have agreed too thinking that every child had the right to know their fathers. And every man had the right to know if they had a child out there.

But you just.... Couldn't go there right now.

"Okay, get some rest. It's Wednesday and I don't want to see you in work until Monday at the earliest. Take some time, maybe talk to your family. I know you're not close but maybe it will help."

It wouldn't. That was a conversation you intended on putting off for as long as you could. Christmas in five years time should do the trick.

"And Y/N. Call if you need anything. Anything at all, and I mean that. I'm here for you as a friend, one that cares about you and not just as your boss."

You sniffed back fresh tears and gave him the tiniest watery smile you could manage murmuring a thanks to him before entering the front door to your house.

You'd just about made it to your couch before collapsing into tears again.

What a fucking mess.


	3. Chapter 3

Six weeks had passed. Six week of you knowingly being with child. Six weeks since your stupid brain and body had made the decision for you that your life was changing forever.

Woopty fucking doo.

You'd cried a lot for the first few days. Cried for the life you would have to leave behind, cried for the countless hours of sleep you'd lose, the alone time you'd rarely have for the next eighteen years and you cried for the mess this child would make of your body.

And then you found yourself crying and admonishing yourself for being a selfish cow.

You'd had a surreal moment where you'd sat with a bottle of vodka uncapped in front of you, daring yourself to drink it; you didn't want this baby, maybe if you treated it badly enough whilst it was still inside you, then......it might just, not end up coming out.

Then you'd realised that you genuinely were possibly the worst person in the world to be wishing that, and you quickly poured the vodka and any other alcohol you had in the house away.

You'd returned to work on the Monday, having spent Sunday writing out your action plan, finally coming to terms with the fact that you were going to have to deal with this, and you were going to have to be an adult about it.

Hotch had remained your fairy godmother of sorts. He'd discreetly started giving you the less active tasks when you were out on cases, making sure you were always accompanied by someone if you had to be out in the field. He'd respected your wishes and not informed the team of your impending doom,....sorry, impending motherhood and you and him had had a long talk about your future within the BAU.

You were going to hide your pregnancy from the team for as long as possible, working as far into it as your body and health would allow. When the baby was born, you'd take at least six months off, before reviewing your options again.

You had every intention of moving away from the city once you gave birth to the demon spawn that was ruining your life. Not, to be closer to your parents though. But just somewhere you could have a new start.

You didn't want to leave the team, you adored each and every one of them, even Reid in your own way, annoying as he was, and you loved your job. But you knew once IT was born, that you wouldn't be able to stay.

Luckily, you didn't need the money. You were fortunate in that way at least. Your maternal grandfather had been renowned film director Teddy Montgomery, and when he'd passed, you'd been gifted a large part of his estate in his will. You worked because you wanted to, enjoyed it. Your Gramps speciality had been film noir and you would accompany him on sets when you were a small child is what had piqued your interest in crime.

You could easily live the rest of your life just off the money he'd left you, but that wasn't the sort of person you were. Instead, you banked the money, using it to buy yourself a house, and splurging only very occasionally. You hid your families wealth from the rest of the team, only confessing it to Hotch a few weeks ago when he'd asked about your monetry situation, concerned about you being able to cope without the father on the scene.

He'd been shocked when you'd told him, revealing that 'The Blue Murder Club' was one of his favourite movies. Two days later, you'd turned up at his home, handing him a framed film cell from the movie that you'd acquired. You had tons of random stuff like that from his movies, your three bedroomed home full of them. Your older sisters had not been interested at all in your grandpa's filmmaking skills, only the money that had come with it so when he'd died, you'd ended up with quite a collection. Something else that was worth a fortune to the right collectors, but things which you knew you'd never sell.

He'd insisted that you stay for dinner and spend some time with him and Jack and you'd obliged, knowing he was trying to get you to spend more time around small children to lessen the blow.

You were fine with other people's kids though, you'd just... never wanted one of your own. Jack and you had had a good old play with his action figures, sprawled out on the floor whilst Aaron had prepared food for you both. Whilst you'd been eating you'd tentively asked if he'd maybe accompany you to your scan appointment in three days time. The only other person you'd have normally asked or confided in about something like this, Garcia, being out of bounds currently due to your own imposed limitations.

He'd accepted with a huge grin on his face and you'd both laughed when you'd joked about them probably thinking you two were a couple.

"No offence Hotch, but I think of you more as a father figure than someone I'd like to climb into bed with."

"None taken at all Y/N, in fact I'm kind of honoured that you think of me that way at all."

So here you were, sat on yet another hospital bed with your tummy exposed, your boss sat to the side of the bed.

You'd registered with an OB/GYN five weeks ago, them giving you a quick scan then and there confirming that you were in fact around fourteen weeks pregnant at that time. Then gone through the normal questions and provided you with yet another stack of pamphlets containing information you'd already Googled online.

You'd become adept at hiding your tiny bump which luckily, appeared to be behaving itself and not making you blow up and giving away your cover. Slightly baggier clothes and well placed accessories were working well.

The harder part had been adjusting your social life, and letting Morgan down gently. You'd become accustomed to hanging out with him and Garcia outside of work, bar hopping and generally getting up to no good. You still went out, but insisted on being the one to fetch the drinks each time, having a word with the bar staff and tipping them well to ensure that your drinks were always the none alcoholic version. Acting drunk wasn't a exactly a science.

Morgan hadn't been too heartbroken either. You and him had developed a 'thing' not long after you and he who shall not be named had broken up. Mutual benefits which given your current situation, definitely couldn't go on. He could not know about what was happening inside your body. Not yet at least. You'd tell him when the time was right....or when you had no choice but to. Which ever came first.

Hotch knew about your 'thing' and you knew what he suspected, but you were neither going to confirm or deny it. You were still insisting on going this alone. And the truth would be obvious when the child was born anyway, but hopefully you'd have a home in another state and a whole new life sorted by then.

The ultrasound technician finished tapping away at her screen before squirting clear squishy gel onto the slight curve of your tummy, warning you that it might be cold.

"Nineteen weeks right? We should be able to find out the sex today if the babys position is right. That's of course, if you and Dad want to?" She eyed you and Aaron carefully.

Chuckling as your prediction had come true you explained, "He's just a friend. The 'Dad' isn't part of the picture. My choice. And yes, I think I'd like to know."

"Okay dokey." She placed the wand to your tummy and you both turned to view the screen hearing a loud whooshing noise.

The first scan you'd had, you'd not been interested at all and there'd barely been anything to see.

Five weeks on though, and there was a huge difference.

The technician rattled off measurements, her assistant inputting them into your records as you watched the figure on the screen.

It was.... A baby. A tiny, black and white image of a small human being. A small you.

You could make out its head clearly and it's arms and legs, a hand moving on the screen. That was inside you. You'd made that. And it looked harmless, like it wouldn't hurt a fly.

Huh.

"So this isn't one hundred percent accurate, you can't be absolutely certain until the baby is born. But.... It looks like you're having a little girl."

Oh.... OH.

And then a tiny lump in your throat. You turned to look at Hotch, him smiling at you and squeezing your hand.

"Maybe we will be family after all Aaron? Eight years between Jack and this little peanut."

"I was just thinking the same thing Y/N."

......

You were back at the office, scan photos tucked safely away in your bag.

The appointment had been a lunchtime one, and you had files to be getting on with.

Quitting time came and you packed up, ready to leave and waving good bye to everyone else who was gathering their own belongings.

Walking to the elevator with JJ and Rossi, you crashed straight into Penelope Garcia who was rushing around like a little ball of energy as normal. She sent your bag and the contents flying across the floor, you scurrying to pick everything up when you realised what was in there.

"Shit, bugger, fuck. Sorry Y/N." She bent down helping you pick up the items, reaching for and grabbing the one thing you'd hoped she wouldn't.

She turned the card over, her eyes widening as she took in the image in front of her along with the name and dates.

"Y/N?"

JJ and Rossi looked confused and you knew there was no point in trying to lie.

"Yes, I am."

"OH MY GOD." she squealed, tossing the photo to JJ and Dave as she enveloped you in a huge hug. "Why the hell didn't you tell me. I'd have come with you. Was that were you were today?"

You nodded, feeling immediately guilty for not confiding in her. She was the closest thing you had to a best friend within the team.

"Congratulations Y/N." The other two hugged you one by one, as they passed the photo between them, smiling at you with warm grins.

"Hey hey hey, what's all this. What are we missing out on over here." Morgan and Spencer started to walk over, the commotion Penelope had caused grabbing their attention.

"Y/Ns pregnant!" Penelope squeaked.

JJ handed the ultrasound picture to the two men and you watched them with baited breath, knowing he'd see the dates and figure it out for himself.

As his eyes raised themselves to yours, you knew he'd put two and two together and got four.

You grabbed your bag and bolted.


	4. Chapter 4

You raced home, making it back in record time and almost running three red lights on the way.

Shit shit shit.

This wasn't good.

You estimated you had maybe fifteen minutes before HE turned up, you knew it would likely take him longer to get to you.

You couldn't deal with this right now. You'd only just come to terms with the fact that you were going to be a mother, you didn't want to have to consider someone else's feelings as well.

And he'd want to be involved, you knew he would. Which is why you didn't want to tell him in the first place.

Pacing your living room, hand rubbing your stomach through your thick sweater you started to run through your options.

Lie to him and out rightly deny it? No, he'd know from the dates and would demand a test.

Run? You could probably manage to get a head start and leave now if you didn't pack anything and just abandoned everything. 

Or... tell him the truth and accept the judgement and hurt that he was going to direct at you.

BANG BANG BANG

Shit..... He must have literally jumped in a car just after you.

BANG BANG BANG.

"OPEN THE DOOR Y/N."

Deep breath. Time to face the music.

Or..... Go out the back door. You could double back around to your car after he broke the door down, which he would no doubt attempt to do.

"Y/N OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR. WE NEED TO TALK."

Okay. Cool. Calm. Collected.

Tell him it was someone else's. Everyone knew you'd slept around a bit anyway.... Just not that recently. But it was a viable option.

But then how would that explain you bolting and not letting him in.

It wouldn't.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Time to grow up. Be an adult.

Come on Y/N.

You moved to the door and pulled it open.

"Hey, what's up!" You smiled brightly.

"Really Y/N? Move please."

You shifted to one side, allowing him into your house and following him through to your living room.

"You're pregnant." He stated matter of factly, looking you up and down searching for the signs of your bump.

"Would you like a drink?" You offered not meeting his gaze.

"You're 18 weeks pregnant according to the dates on that scan photo."

"Coffee? Tea? Water?" You tried again.

"It's mine isn't it?"

You finally met his gaze, your mouth set in a line.

"Were you planning on telling me at all Y/N?" His voice was surprisingly calm at the moment.

You didn't respond.

"You weren't, were you." Not a question, a statement.

"I wasn't planning on telling anyone." You finally admitted.

"So what? You were going to disappear for six months and return with a child."

"No, I just wasn't going to return."

"Christ, I knew you were a selfish bitch sometimes but seriously. So you weren't going to tell me that I have a child?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably. I would have told you eventually I'm sure. "

"What, when it was 18 years old? Or were you just going to leave it in a basket on my doorstep with a note?"

Why the hell hadn't you thought of that?

"You should have told me the moment you found out. I have a right to know."

"Look, I've barely come to terms with this myself let alone had the chance to think about other people. Yes I'm pregnant, yes it's yours."

"So what do we do now?"

"WE don't do anything. I'm doing this by myself. I don't want you to be involved."

"Erm, I don't think so. That's my child inside you. I'm being a part of its life." He stood with his arms crossed, resolve across his face.

You heard another car door slam then another knock at your door ten seconds later.

"I need to get that." You stalked past him to your hallway, hauling open your front door.

Hotch.

"Are you okay? Dave told me everyone knows and how they found out. I know you didn't want to tell them like that."

"It would've come out eventually."

"Has he tried to contact you?"

"Who?"

"Morgan. It's his isn't it? I know you've not out rightly told me but it's common knowledge that you two had a thing."

A voice came from behind you. "Morgan? Why does he think it's Derek's."

Shit. You hasn't realised he'd followed you out.

Hotch looked confused. "Reid?... What are you doing h.......Oh."

He looked at Spencer and then at you and you nodded in confirmation.

"Oh."

"So Hotch already knew. And why does he think it's Derek's Y/N? Or do you not know? Is that it? Is that why you've not told anyone, cos you don't know who the father is?" Spencer was getting angry.

"Spencer just calm down. It's not Morgan's."

"Really? Cos there must be a reason Hotch thinks that. And we all know you've not been exactly tight with your morals or keeping your legs shut this past year. Is Rossi in the running too?"

THWACK.

You felt the sting of his cheek against your palm and the feel of Aaron's hand around your wrist, pulling it back to your side.

"Shut the fuck up Spencer. Fine I've not been little miss innocent this year, but I know whose child this is and whose it isn't. Mine and Derek's 'thing', which is none of your business by the way, didn't extend that far. But believe what you want. It's easier for me if you choose to believe it's not yours, but there is no one else who's it could be."

"So you and Derek weren't sleeping together?" Spencer clarified.

"No! We were hanging out and having the odd make out session whenever the choice of options was limited at the end of a night out. I never fucked him though, I knew what a mistake it would turn out to be screwing someone I work with. And look how I managed to prove myself right."

"So I was a mistake? That's not what you were whispering to me the third time we made a mistake that night..... "

Your face flushed, wishing he'd shut up and stop.

"Fucking you was the biggest mistake I've ever made Spencer Reid. You were a mistake and this" You pointed to your stomach "is a mistake."

He followed your hand to where it was pointing, before pushing past you to the door.

"Well if you think of my child as that much of a mistake, then you won't mind if I sue you for full parental custody."

He slammed the door behind him.

You felt your bosses eyes on you, and you met his gaze.

"You and Spencer? What the.... How the....?"

It wasn't often you seen him speechless, but you'd just managed it.

How the hell indeed?


	5. Chapter 5

Yes, how had that happened indeed.

**Flashback to approximately 18 weeks ago.**

This dude was boring. But so pretty. But boring as fuck.

You'd been willing to push that to one side just so you could check out what was underneath his jeans and shirt and maybe give him something to bite on so that he'd stop talking. But then he'd pulled out his phone and started talking about a novel his was writing.

And then insisted on showing you some of his work. If you could call it that.

His first paragraph was twenty lines long and didn't contain a single use of punctuation or grammar. And he'd written 'your' when he'd clearly meant 'you're'.

Some things you could overlook for a pretty face and a decent fuck but bad grammar wasn't one of them. He had to go. Or more like, you had to go.

He'd picked you up from outside of work and taken you to a dive bar fifteen miles out of the city. You excused yourself and made your way to the ladies room.

Finding your phone, you speed dialled Morgan. He'd bailed you out on more than one occasion.

"H-hello?" A voice that definitely did not belong to Derek.

"Reid? Is that you? Have I dialled the wrong number? " You pulled your phone from your ear reading that the display definitely said Morgan.

"No, he left his phone with me with instructions that I was to answer if you called. Something about you needing a get out clause."

"Where is he?"

"Currently dry humping a women named Jessica in a booth at the back of the bar. Although... I'm not sure it's 'dry'. She seems to be enjoying it far too much."

You laughed. "Where's Garcia?"

"She left about ten minutes ago, attached to a broker named Westley."

Fuck.... You groaned. Cab it was.

"Y/N if you need a ride, I can come get you. I've only had one drink and that was an hour ago."

"No its fine. I'll call a cab and think of something." You didn't want to end up owing him a favour.

"Where are you. Seriously? I don't mind. I'm kinda bored here anyway. And I'm not tired yet, the drive might wear me out." He offered again.

"Okay. Thank you. But NO statistics about how online dating leads to failure or anything please." He laughed and you told him where you were, asking him to call your cell when he was two minutes out.

Freshening up, you begrudgingly made your way back to Bretton. God, even his name sucked. You'd thought it sounded cool and suave when you'd seen his profile but now... Just ugh. You bet that wasn't even his real name.

Downing two drinks in quick succession you listened to him drone on and on about his clearly fake ass publishing deal. The guy couldn't even string a sentence together properly, no one was going to read any atrocity he produced.

Twenty seven soul deadening minutes later and your bag began to sing. Your work phone going off. Well, point one to Dr Reid, he'd had the sense to call that. It made the ruse so much easier if you were seen to be answering a different phone.

"Sorry, gotta take this. It's work." You turned away from the table, swiping to answer.

"Hey Y/N, I'm outside."

"Whats that? A double homicide in Cinncinati? But it's a Friday night..... Yes I know,..... Yes, yes, okay. You're outside already? But I'm on a date... Fine... I'll reschedule. You owe me. "

You could hear Reid laughing quietly to yourself as you hung up, plastering an apologetic look on your face.

"I'm so sorry, I'm needed. It's been great, but my colleague is outside waiting for me." You started to make your way towards the door, Bretton following you.

"How did they know where you were? I didn't tell you where we were going until I picked you up."

Shit, he's right. You spotted Reids tiny little Beetle, always amused that someone as tall as him would choose such a small car. He'd listed a hundred reasons when you'd asked him about it but you'd shut off after the seventh.

"Erm..... The FBI tracks my location constantly in case I'm needed urgently. Part of my employment contract with them is that I must always carry a tracking device."

"Really? That's so cool. Can I see it. I'd love to be able to describe one in my writings."

Oh for fuck sake. You rummaged in your purse seeing a tiny orange tampon container, the hard plastic cases that you could carry when you were trying to be discreet. Fuck it, you had plenty of them at home and weren't due on for another week anyway. You dug it out and handed it to him before walking around to the passenger side of Spencers car and pulling the door open.

"Keep it. I have like ten. I'll get our tech analyst to disable it later." You slid into the car closing the door and hearing a "wow, that's so..... Wait what?"

You glanced out the window seeing that he'd opened it and was holding the tampon, staring at it curiously.

"Drive Spencer, drive! " You burst out laughing as your unlikely rescuer put his foot down and sped out of the car park and onto the main road.

"Did you seriously just try to convince that guy that a feminine hygiene product was a government issued tracking device?"

"Yep!" You glanced at him and you both started giggling again.

You rarely spent time with your colleague outside of work, he'd come out with you, Penny and Derek a few times but generally always left early. Everyone on the team had been surprised that you two hadn't become fast friends. Spencer was only a few years older than you, and you were both seriously smart, loving books and nerdy stuff like Dr Who. It wasn't that you weren't friends, but.....you were more colleagues than anything.

It didn't stop you all socialising as a team and it didn't impede your working relationship. You shared a mutual respect for each other, but you just didn't click with him the way you did with the others. You'd tried, and he'd tried too, but there was a invisible boundary preventing you from being the good friends everyone else seemed to think you should be.

Still, it was nicer seeing a relaxed smiling Spencer for a change. And you appreciated the fact that he come all this way to pick you up. You told him so.

"Thank you by the way. For coming to get me."

"No problem. What was his problem anyway?"

"Not knowing the difference between their, there and they're. " You saw the confused look on his face and explained about Brettons so called novel.

"Seriously? God Y/N, I thought you had better taste than that!"

"I do, normally." You searched through your large bag for the emergency hip flask you carried for when dates when wrong. Finding it, you unscrewed the cap and took a swallow.

"What's that?"

"Captain Morgans Spiced Rum. Best drink ever." You took another gulp, it burning you throat as you swallowed, the buzz hitting a few seconds later. "I'd offer you some, but ya know. Driving and all that."

"Its fine. But.... You're drinking something named Morgan. You realise the double entendre there right?"

"Oh definitely. I'd drink him down like pop given the chance." You waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh like you haven't already." Spencer smirked at you. You ignored the comment.

"What's up with you anyway. It's not very often they manage to drag you out on a Friday night. You finally read every book ever written or something?"

"Nope. Just fancied it. But then when Penelope and Derek abandoned me for more exciting options it got a bit boring."

"Well maybe you should have found your own exciting option?"

He laughed again at you, the sound not unpleasant to your ears. "Yeah, as if. Erm... It's down here right? You live on Oak Valley Road right?"

You nodded. He'd been in the car a few times when you'd been dropped off.

It was only when he turned into your street that you felt a sense of dread.

Emptying your bag out onto your lap and the foot well, you wanted to kick your self.

"Problem?" Reid asked.

"My house keys are in my drawer at work. I can't get in." You sighed, trying remember whether you'd left any windows open a small amount. Probably not. Working where you did had conditioned you to always leave your home fully secured.

"Shit. I can drive you back. Have you got your pass on you? Mines at home."

You shook your head. You'd been in a rush to meet Bretton and you could picture your pass and your keys exact position inside your drawer. And it was another forty five minutes there and back to work.

"Okay, we'll have to swing by mine then and grab my pass first. Or....... " He looked uncomfortable as he suggested the next part " You can just stay on my couch and I can drive you in tomorrow?"

You considered the options. Another hour and a half before you could relax, or spend the night on a couch.

Fuck it, you'd slept in worse places than Spencer Reids couch. "I'm sorry for putting you out Spencer. Is it okay if I stay?"

He nodded and made a three point turn, pointing the car in the direction of his apartment.

Little did you know, this was the worse choice you could have possibly made.


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer Reids apartment was everything you expected it to be.

Tidy, clean, everything in its place. And completely full of books. Like everywhere. It was like a freaking library.

"Why do you have so many books? I thought you just memorised everything you read. " You ran your hand along one of his bookcases, seeing a large amount of first editions. So that's what he spent all his money on.

"I do. But I like to have actual physical copies of my favourites. Nothing beats the smell of an old book. Or a brand new one that's never been read before." He watched you carefully.

"I guess. I mean I'll personally always prefer actual books over E-readers. "

" Ugh. Don't even get me started on them... "

You grinned, recalling his disdain for tablets and paperless technology. You agreed to some extent, especially when it came to books, but you'd be completely lost without your cell phone.

"I'm gonna find some blankets and stuff. Be back in a second."

"Erm Reid..... Do you have something I could sleep in. Like a shirt or something?"

He swallowed hard before nodding and disappearing through a door into where you assumed his bedroom was. He returned a few minutes later with a stack of blankets and a pillow which he placed on the couch before handing you a dark purple shirt.

"Bathrooms over there." He pointed, and you slipped off your heels before padding barefoot across the room to get changed.

When you emerged a few minutes later, he'd made up the couch for you.

"Got anything to drink Reid?" You weren't quite as sleepy as you'd like to be yet and your rum was half finished.

He turned to you and you caught him double take at you before answering with a slight croak to his voice. "Wine? I have wine... white. Somewhere. Fridge I think." He stumbled over to the kitchen area, you hearing his fridge door open and the clatter of glasses.

You followed him through, leaning against the door frame and watching him as he bent over, rummaging through his refrigerator.

As annoying as he was, you found yourself checking his butt out. Tonight was one of the rare occasions you could recall seeing him wearing something other than slacks and a shirt. Instead he had on a pair of worn jeans and a plain grey t shirt, a large chunky green cardigan over the top despite the warm weather. The look actually suited him and the jeans made his ass look kinda cute.

He found the bottle and turned back around, pouring two glasses and handing you one.

"Please tell me you're wearing your underwear under that?"

His shirt was long enough on you that you'd just peeled off your skinny jeans, letting it hang loose on you.

"Panties yes. Bra.... No. Why. Does that make you nervous Dr Reid?"

"Let's just say it's not very often I have girls wearing my clothes is all."

You took a large gulp of your wine, swallowing the whole glass down quickly. He raised his eyes at you and copied you, refilling both glasses again. You walked back through to the living area, sitting on the make shift bed.

"Is my company that bad that you need to get wasted, Agent Y/N?"

"Nope. I'm just drinking to forget the monstrosity of a novel that douche tried to force upon me. Can I turn your TV on please?"

He passed you the remote, before sitting at the other end of the couch to you.

Oh. So he was joining you now. Well... It was his apartment. He had every right to.

He seemed to sense your apprehension.

"You don't like me very much do you?"

His question caught you off guard as you flicked his TV on, channel surfing before you found a movie channel. One of your favourite films "Let The Right One In" had not long started.

You shifted on his couch, him still looking at you, expecting an answer.

"I don't dislike you Spencer. I just.... Don't really know you as a person."

"We've worked together for 27 months! How can you not know me?"

"And? I know what you're like as a profiler. And you're extremely good at what you do, if a little patronising and condescending at times."

"I am not!" He protested.

"You are too, and don't interrupt. That's another thing. My IQ is only a few points lower than yours but whenever I try to speak or offer my opinion on something, you cut me off. It got old really quickly, and it makes me lose my patience with you very easily."

"Oh."

Silence. You took another sip of your drink, seeing Spencer refilling his again out of the corner of your eye.

A few moments later. "I'm sorry. I'll try not to interrupt you so much."

"Thank you."

"So....If you don't really know me as a person, isn't now the perfect opportunity to change that?"

Now was the perfect time for you watch the movie that was showing and to drink the wine in your hand actually.... But he was being gracious and not abandoning you on the streets or leaving you to the mercy of Bretton so you supposed you'd give him something.

"Okay... question time then. I already know your favourite shows, music and books. I pay attention to you enough at HQ for all of that. And I know where you grew up and how many PhDs you hold and that you're pretty much the boy wonder of the FBI. So how about this..... Back to earlier when we were speaking about Garcia and Derek abandoning you for something more exciting....." You held you glass out again for another refill. Shit the bottle was nearly empty already. "Why don't you ever go off and find your own 'something more exciting'. I've never seen you with a girl."

He hauled himself off the couch and you thought you'd offended him but he just moved to the kitchen and grabbed another bottle of wine before returning to his seat.

"Erm. I prefer not to have random hook ups. I have an arrangement with someone who I see every few months when they come into town. And that's enough for me....Most of the time anyway."

Spencer has a fuck buddy? Oh my god!

Wait... Someone.

"Spencer are you gay?"

He choked. "What! No!"

"Shit, sorry. It's just... You said someone, not her or she."

"I'm not gay Y/N."

"Okay okay. It's just fit that's all."

He turned to you, shifting in his position on the couch, moving that bit closer to you.

"You think I'm gay?"

Oh god. What had you started.

"Well...... You do give Morgan some pretty lingering looks sometimes. And like I said, I've never seen you with a girl before. I've never even heard you say you think someone's hot."

"I think you're hot."

You rolled your eyes. "You're just saying that to try to prove a point."

He inched closer still.

"I'm seriously not Y/N."

"Listen it's fine. I get it. You're not gay. I believe you." Maybe he wasn't. Or maybe you'd just caught him out. Perhaps he was bi? "I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You still don't believe me do you?" He watched you for a response. You shrugged.

Reaching out he grabbed your hand.

"If I was gay, would I be sat here like this just because some pretty girl is wearing one of my shirts and not a lot else?" He pressed your hand to his groin.

Fuuuuck. Maybe he wasn't gay. Could still be bi. But..... Jeez, it was kinda hot what he'd just done.

Shifting in your seat, you pressed with the palm of your hand feeling him hard against his jeans.

Flicking your eyes to his face, you saw he'd turned a slight shade of pink, obviously surprised himself with what he'd done.

His hand was still gripped around your wrist not allowing for a lot of movement. You moved your hand oh so slightly watching his face closely, seeing his lips part as you nudged against his bulge.

"So me sitting here in your shirt is getting you all hot and bothered....Well, what if I do this?"

You don't know what it was that made you reach with your free hand and start undoing the buttons on the shirt you were wearing. The wine? His cute butt? The shock of him touching your hand to his dick. Or the fact that you'd gone out tonight with the intention of doing something pretty..... And Reid was looking pretty hot right now.

He watched you, following your hand with his eyes until the shirt was completely undone, but not spread open, just a thin stripe of your naked flesh showing between the fabric. He still hadn't moved your hand.

"What are you doing Y/N?"

"Oh come on Reid. You don't put someone's hand on your cock without wanting something to happen. So, it's your move again."

You flexed your hand against him and shifted onto your knees, your shirt moving slightly further apart with your movements. Spencer tongue flicked out swiping across his bottom lip.

"My move?"

"Yep. You instigated this. You can release my hand and go to bed and we'll never talk about this again. Or...... " You inched closer still.

"Or.....?" He breathed.

"You can push my shirt open, kiss me and we can go to bed together. And still never talk about this again."

His eyes locked onto yours, the atmosphere in the room dripping with sexual tension. He release his grip on your wrist.

And then leaned forward and dragged his hand down the centre of the shirt, gripping the two sides when he reached the bottom pulling them apart. He tugged the two halves of the fabric, pulling you towards him and you crawled onto his lap, knees either side of his waist.

He took a deep breath before moving his hands to your shoulders and gently pushing the shirt off your back before pulling you towards him, his mouth making contact with yours.

........

When you'd woken the next more you'd been sore and achey, a throbbing between your legs. Not a bad one; one the signified that you'd been well and truly fucked. Not once, not twice, but three times by your co-worker and general pain in your neck Spencer Reid.

The boy had had moves, surprisingly good ones and you'd moved easily and comfortably together, bringing each other to orgasm multiple times with hands, mouths and genitals.

The third and final time had been a slow, sleepy fuck, you lying side by side on the bed, nearly fast asleep when he'd decided he'd wanted another turn and had reached between your legs, working his magical fingers against your clit, lazily pushing himself back inside you.

It was that third and final time that mistakes had been made, the condom forgotten. Neither of you were solely responsible for the blame. You'd remembered seeing the third packet out of the three still sealed on the table in the morning and tossing it back inside your bag, not realising in your hung over and sleep deprived state what it had meant.

He'd dropped you back off at the BAU the next morning, you both agreeing that whilst last night had been unexpected and fun, it was never to happen again and no one in the team could know about it.

And so you'd continued on with each other as normal, acting as if nothing had changed. Because well, it hadn't.

But something had been changing inside you. Growing inside your tummy.

Spencer Reids child.


	7. Chapter 7

"I just.... You and Dr Reid?"

Twenty minutes later and Hotch was still shell shocked. You'd given him a brief run down of how you and Reid had come to end up in this situation, steering clear of the nitty gritty. He didn't need to know that.

"And you've just acted totally normal around him at work, knowing you're carrying his child."

"Hey.... Don't you start judging me again Aaron. I thought we'd become friends. I can do without that right now, he's already hating on me enough."

You took a sip from the water you'd fetched after Reid had stormed out.

"I'm not judging you. I'm sorry if it sounds like that. And we are friends... "

You could sense a 'but'.

You were right. He continued tentatively.

"But, Reid has every right to hate you right now. He's just found out someone is having his baby, but that he's not allowed to play a part."

You sighed. Hotch was right.

"Y/N why do you so badly not want him to be in this child's life? Is it completely selfish reasons, because you don't get on with him?"

Selfish.... Yep, that was you.

"You know he'd make a good father. He's kind and considerate, and you know any child that has both of your genes is going to be the next Einstein. She's going to be a handful."

She.... Your little girl. Reid's little girl.  
Who he'd threatened to sue you for custody of.

"Shit... Hotch. Could he really take her away from me?" As much as you'd initially not wanted this thing, you'd at least come round to the idea of it, making concessions in your life.

And you weren't going through another five months of hell just to have nothing to show for at the end of it. The ultrasound earlier had peeled another thin layer of away of whatever was coating your hidden maternal instinct. She was your baby. Your property.

"He could certainly try. I doubt any court would award him full custody though as it's not like you're unfit to be a mother. But if he was serious, then he'd stand a good chance of joint access. And you could provide him that without costing both of you thousands of dollars."

He was right again.

Ugh.

"Y/N look... I can't tell you what to do here. But if I put myself in Spencers shoes right now, I know I'd be heartbroken. He'll be an excellent father, and now he knows; you don't have to leave or transfer away from the BAU. You two can work something out, where he can help you and be a part of this little girls life."

Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, you spoke. "Call him please. Get him to come back."   
....

Twenty minutes later and Spencer was sat on your couch wearing an expression that, try as you might, you couldn't read.  
Hotch had left when he had returned, telling you to call him if you needed him.

You seriously were beginning to wonder what you'd do without that man in your life. Since finding out you were pregnant, you'd seen a totally different side to the normally stoic and unemotional boss you normally saw. One thing was right. At least now Spencer knew, you probably wouldn't leave.

He looked at you expectantly, and you knew you should start talking. But that meant having to admit that you were wrong to not tell him, and you hated admitting you were wrong.

Another two minutes of silence passed, Reid fiddling with his tie and you scanning the room looking anywhere else but at him.

Your mouth opened and closed seven times before you finally muttered out a quiet "I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"His eyebrows raised at you, his mouth set.

"I'm sorry." Louder this time, still not looking at him.

"Well that's a start I guess. How long have you known?" Oh joy...... interrogation time.

"Six weeks."

"So you've lied to my face for six weeks? How does Hotch know?"

"Technically I've not lied Reid. I just didn't tell you. And Hotch was with me when I found out. The case where I ended up making an emergency trip to the hospital?"

He nodded, recalling and for once not making a snarky "I told you so" comment.

"Is the baby okay? Is it healthy? Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes and physically yes."

"So you're physically okay but not mentally? Explain please."

"Well I hadn't exactly got 'get knocked up by my work colleague' written into any of my planners or calenders. But I've accepted that it's happened." You shrugged your shoulders.

"I thought you told me you were on the pill anyway?"

"I was. But I'm not very good at taking it. Hence why I told you we needed condoms that night." You'd been offered other types of contraception by your Doctor, but had declined them all, not liking the idea of having anything inserted inside of you or having the time to go and get a shot every three months. But you were a walking example of why the contraceptive pill wasn't an ideal option for people who were constantly pulled from pillar to post.

"But we used condoms? I distinctly remember stopping to have to put one on. And you whining at me to hurry up." Ugh, you had. You, begging him to hurry up and put it in you, something you never in million years thought would happen. You shuddered at the memory.

"Think Spencer......" His eyes shifted to the ceiling as he thought back, and then the penny dropped.

"The third time........Shit.That was my fault."

"It's no ones fault Reid. We're both as equally responsible for it."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"What you've just said. If we were both equally responsible for you getting pregnant, then we are both equally responsible for the outcome of that pregnancy. I'm not walking away from this. I won't be like my father and abandon my child."

You knew his father had walked out on he and his mom when he was a child, which had been another reason you'd not wanted to tell him. You knew that there was no chance he'd make the same mistakes his own Dad had and leave you to raise this child alone. But you'd wanted to do it alone. And now........Your plans were going to have to change again to accommodate someone else.

Taking a deep breath, you met his gaze. "I know."

"You know? What does that even mean Y/N?" Why was he insisting on making this so hard for you?

"I know you're not going to walk away."

"And I'm not letting you walk away from me either, not with my child. I meant what I said Y/N. I'll take you to court if I have to. I don't care what it costs. This could be my only chance at have a child."

"I know. You won't have to. We'll......We'll work something out. Between us. I won't take her away from you. I swear it."

"Her?" His voice was suddenly questioning and soft, a complete contrast the the harsh, bitterness of a few moments ago.  
You smiled realising he didn't know, how could he?

"Yes. Her. We found out today."

"We?" Harsh again.

"Hotch came with me." You winced, knowing how it sounded.

"So are you and he a thing now too? Is that why he was so concerned about you?"

"No. He's been the only one I've been able to talk to about this, that's all. He's been very good to me as both a friend and an employer and I asked him to go with me. There's nothing going on between me and Aaron, he's more like a Dad to me than anything."

"Okay, well that changes. I'm coming with you to all of your appointments now. All right?" Not really, but you'd allow it.

"Fine.  
"  
"Good."

"Spencer.......Do you want to see her?"

"Can I?" His eyes lit up.

You moved over to him,pulling your phone out and sitting next to him. Flicking through to your video collection, you selected the one you'd taken earlier today, small 30 second clip, and pressed play.

Spencer leaned in close and you heard his breathing stop as he watched the screen, the loud whooshing of your babies heartbeat filling the room.

"That's her? She's so........small."

You waited for him to start reeling of facts about how many centimetres long she would be and how the blood vessels and veins would still be visible through her paper thin skin and how her ears would now be set in their final position, but he didn't. Instead he touched the screen, replaying the video.

"That's my baby........I.........I made that?"

The emotion in his voice breaking through your barriers and you felt it tugging on your heartstrings. There was no way you could block him out of this now. Your eyes moved to his face, seeing him quickly swipe away a tear.

"We made that Spencer. Together." You whispered. "We'll find a way to raise her....Together."

His eyes met yours and you placed a hand on his arm.

"Thank you." He murmured.


	8. Chapter 8

'I'm sorry. You and Spencer are having a baby together? I don't understand." Morgan was confused, and the rest of the team had perplexed expressions on their faces as well.

You and Reid had decided to bite the bullet and tell the team together, after spending most of the previous night talking.

You'd not made any official arrangements or agreements other than that he would accompany you to your appointments going forward, and agreeing that you and the baby would live in your house. Access arrangements could be sorted once she was born, although he fully understood that for the six months at least, it would be unlikely that you'd be allowing her to spend full weeks away from you. You still weren't massively enthusiastic about him being involved but it didn't seem as terrible an idea as you'd originally thought.

The question of work arose and you'd told him that were planning to take time off anyway, and assess the situation then. The problem was, with you being in the field so often and you not having any close family, who would watch the baby? The answer didn't change now that Reid was involved either. It was still..... No one. There wasn't anyone unless you employed a full time nanny, or took a desk job, that didn't require you to be on location. You'd need to speak with Hotch some more.

Hotch was looking mildly amused at the curious looks on his teams face and they tried to make sense of the bombshell that you and the Dr had dropped.

"So, you're pregnant. We know that. But Reid's the father? So you two are together? We're profilers, how the hell did we not pick up on that?" Rossi looked back and forth between the two of you.

"We're not together. And yes, Reid is the father. So she'll be a little baby genius no doubt." You explained, actually enjoying the team being shocked.

"So you two.......erm......slept together?" JJ asked.

"Nooo Jayge. His sperm just crawled out of his penis and across the office floor one day, deciding to take up residence in my vagina......Yes we slept together. It was a one night thing a while ago. Alcohol was involved. As it generally is."

"You two.......Together.......In bed? That's just weird." Derek seemed to be struggling the most with this, probably because of yours and his little make out sessions.

A though occurred and made you chuckle. "You know Morgan, if you think about it. You and Reid have made out with each other, by proxy of me."

"Yeah um, I'm not gonna think about that thank you very much."

"Me neither" Spencer agreed.

"How long have you guys known?" Emily queried.

Ahhhhh. And now the time has come for the team to find out what a horrible person you are. That he'd only found out 24 hours ago himself and that you'd originally had no intension of telling him.

"About six weeks. We didn't want to tell you just yet. We wanted to wait until Y/N had been for the second ultrasound." Spencer spoke and both yours and Hotches eyes flickered to him.

"That was yesterday though right? You were here all day kid."

"The appointment got moved at the last minute, and I had that conference call that I couldn't get out. So as much as I didn't want to miss it, I had to. Hotch was kind enough to take my place though instead so she wasn't alone. I've seen the pictures and the video though so it's fine. I'll make the next one."

They seemed satisfied with his explanation and after giving their congratulations again, they moved into the board room, to go over the case that had just come in this morning.

You hung back slightly, touching Reid on the arm so he'd do the same. When the others were out of earshot you turned to him.

"Why didn't you tell them that you'd only just found out yorself?"

He shrugged, replying "Because they don't need to know the full ins and outs.... And, I didn't want them judging you for not telling me straight away."

"Well.... Erm.... Thanks. I guess. You don't have to lie for me you know."

"I'm not, just bending the truth a little.... Thank you for copying the photos and sending me that video by the way."

"No worries. I'll book in for another scan in another couple of weeks if you want? So you can see her for yourself?"

"Do you need another one yet?"

"Nope. Technically I've had the two that are normally insisted upon, unless there's any complications. But you can go for extra, if you pay for more."

"Okay, send me the bill then and I'll pay it."

"No you won't. I owe you this much, okay." It was the least you do, you guessed.

He nodded and you turned to make your way to be briefed.

......

The case had taken you to Boulder City and had lasted five days. You'd ended up sharing a hotel room with JJ and had found her watching you one night as you changed for bed.

"I can't believe how tiny you still are."

"I know. She's being very good so far, not costing me a fortune on maternity clothes."

"Well if you need any, I still have a lot of mine leftover from Henry. We're about the same height, they'd probably fit. Save you some cash."

"Thanks Jayge, but I reckon I'll be okay. I appreciate the offer though." You smiled at her.

"No worries." She was still looking at you and you knew she wanted to ask something else.

"Just ask JJ, I know you want to."

You pulled down the covers, settling into bed.

She looked sheepish before speaking. "I just, you and Spencer, having a kid together. You don't even act like you particularly like him. How?"

"Alcohol. Its as simple as that. And......We don't not like each other, we just don't like each other like that. But we'll be fine. You don't have to be in relationship with someone to have a kid with them."

"Oh I know that. I just, I guess I still can't quite believe that Spence is gonna be a Dad. I'd always imagined him actually settling down and getting married before that happened."

"Well we definitely won't be doing that! But we'll something out between us."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll both do fine. You'll both make great parents. Night Y/N." She turned her lamp off and rolled over to sleep.

"Night night."

The case wrapped the next day and Reid asked if he could speak with you and Hotch for a second, pulling you both to one side.

"What's up Reid." Aaron eyed the younger men carefully.

"Nothings up, but I was just wondering whether we needed to return straight away or if we had a few hours spare. We're erm.......Only thirty minutes away from Vegas so I thought now might be a good time for me and Y/N to go and see my Mom."

"Wait what? Why do I have to go?" Meeting the parents? Really?

"Because you're the mother of her Grandchild and it's only right that she meets you? And I need to tell her and I'd prefer to do it in actual person rather than by phone."

"Personally I think it's a great idea. I can delay the flight home for a few hours. If you go now, can you be back here by six?" It was midday so that gave you six hours.

Reid nodded "That's plenty of time if we leave now."

"Do I not get a say in this here?"

Both men looked and you and said in unison "No."

"Fine".

The drive took about forty five minutes due to traffic, Spencer taking the wheel for once.

"Y/N, you know about my Moms condition right?"

"Yep." The whole team knew.

"And you know it could be hereditary right?"

You did. You'd done some extensive googling on the subject when you'd finally accepted the fact that you were having this baby. You nodded.

"Does that not worry you?"

"Honestly Spencer, everything about having this baby worries me. But if we're just thinking about illnesses and the fact that she has a slightly higher percentage of developing the same illness than another child does then no. It doesn't. There's so many other things that could wrong, I'm not going to let myself get hung up on that. And you shouldn't either. We're both intelligent people, if that were to happen, then we'd deal."

He was quiet for a while before speaking again.

"Y/N?"

"Hmmmmmm?"

"When are you going to tell your family."

"When I have to."

"Would they not be pleased to be grandparents?"

"They're already grandparents Reid. My older sisters have kids already. I'm the youngest."

"So what's the issue?"

"Erm I just don't really get on well with my family that's all. They're not very nice people. They didn't want me to join the FBI. They wanted me to do what my sisters have done and marry some poor, rich guys and become a trophy wife. They're kinda old fashioned in a way. Women shouldn't be out working and all that."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh. Don't worry Spencer, I'm not expecting you to offer to 'do the honourable thing' here."

"I would you know." He glanced at you quickly.

"I know you would. But I don't a marriage of convenience. If I get married, it will be for love and not because I was stupid enough to get knocked up. But you know......not much chance of that happening any time soon. Being pregnant and having a kid will kinda take me out of the dating pool for a while I imagine."

"Well yeah. It's kinda inappropriate for you to be dating whilst you have another man's child inside you,"

"Inappropriate? Dangerous word there Dr Reid." Please don't let him wind wind me up before I have to meet his mother, you thought.

"Wrong choice of words. Sorry. It would be awkward, is what I'm trying to say. For all parties involved."

You had to agree with him there.

He turned off the main road and into a parking lot.

"We're here. Ready to go meet my mother?"

Not really, but you nodded all the same.


	9. Chapter 9

The building Spencer led you into didn't look at all like a care facility or hospital, more like a huge old mansion that had been converted. He was obviously paying out a lot of money to make sure his mother was being properly cared for, something you knew he felt guilty that he couldn't do himself.

One of the nurses came rushing over, instantly recognising him from his previous visits.

"Dr Reid! How lovely to see you again. Oooh your Mama's gonna be so happy. Two visits in two months, she'll wonder what's happening." The woman fussed over him, signing him into the visitors book.

"Yes, I erm.... Have some important news for her that couldn't be given via letter or phone. Is she okay today?"

"Today is a good day sugar. Important news eh? I'm sure she'll be telling us about it after you've left. She always does. I'll take you through."

You trailed behind Spencer, taking in the brightly but tastefully decorated walls until you reached a half open door. The nurse tapped on it, before pushing it open.

"Diana? We have a visitor for you, look who it is!" The nurse gushed.

Inside the room you spotted an older woman seated by a window, a huge volume of text sat upon her lap. She looked nothing like her son physically, yet as she looked over at you both and smiled as she took in Spencer, you could detect a similarity between the two. Something in the mannerisms.

"I'll leave you to it. Dr Lawrence will be around later Spencer if you want to go over anything with him." The nurse left the room.

"My my.... To what do I owe this pleasure dear son? And you've bought a friend too I see."

"Hi Mom.... Erm this is....."

"Agent Y/F/N right? I recognise her from the description in your letters. Welcome, Y/N. Now tell me; is the FBI in need of my assistance again? It's not very often two federal agents turn up in my room together"

The woman was a talker, just like her son. Reid tugged you into the room leading you over to the seat opposite his mother and motioning for you to sit down. You could feel her eyes on you, observing your interactions with her only child. Reid bent to her, kissing her cheek and giving an awkward hug before perching himself on the arm of the chair you lowered yourself into.

"Hi Mrs Reid. Yes I'm Y/N. It's nice to meet you." You waved at her and saw her piercing eyes travel down your body and settle around your middle, her eyebrows then raising. Your t shirt today had been slightly tighter than the ones you'd become accustomed to wearing recently, and although you were barely showing, you could see a flicker in her eyes.

She knew. Well at least you could tell where Reid got his profiling skills from.

She looked to her son and then back to you before her lips turned up into a smile. "Will I be needing to go hat shopping?" She asked.

Ahhh shit.

"What?" Spencer gave a small laugh, confused by his mother's question. You hit him on the leg, muttering "she knows" under your breath.

"Wait, how?"

"A mothers instinct my darling boy. So it's true? I'm going to be a grandmother."

Spencer nodded and a grin broke across his mother's face.

"When? How far along are you Y/N?"

You went to answer her but Spencer got there first, you grasping his leg and digging your fingers in to convey your annoyance.

"She's twenty weeks so still a while to... Ouch! What was that for? "

You smiled sweetly and shrugged, his mother laughing and clapping her hands together.

"Just what I like to see, someone putting you in your place when you answer a question directed to someone else. You're a brilliant man, but you really still haven't learned to wait your turn have you. But it's good to see that she knows how to handle you. How long have you two been dating?"

You both wore identical sheepish expressions as each of you waited for the other to answer.

She glanced between you both, her eyes narrowing as she picked up on the uncomfortable silence between you.

"You're not dating are you?"

You shook your heads.

"Spencer, I thought I raised you better than that. I raised you to be a gentleman, not to go around poking girls with your stick unless you were seeing them."

"Mom!" You bit back a smile, noticing the blush on his cheeks.

"In my day and age, if you knocked a girl up you..... "

"Mom, stop. I was born in the eighties not the fifties. It wasn't expected of people as much then, and it isn't now. Plus.... I offered. She wouldn't have me."

Hey hey hey... You turned to him, feeling his Moms eyes shift to you, obviously wondering why her son wasn't good enough for you.

"Spencer we'd end up killing each other...." You turned back to his Mother. "Mrs Reid, no offence to you or your son, but me and Spencer aren't like that. It was one drunken night. What matters though, is that although we might not be together as couple, this baby will have two parents. She will be bought up by both of us."

She took in what you were saying, nodding a few moments later. "She.... A granddaughter?"

Spencer grinned. "Yes, would you like to see some pictures?"

"Very much so."

You spent the next thirty minutes or so showing her the ultrasound photos and video, her asking you questions about the pregnancy so far and just generally chit chatting.

"Spencer dear, I'm quite sure Dr Lawrence will be in his office now. Why don't you go and have a quick catch up with him, I'm sure he's got something new to tell you about my treatment regime or something or other. "

Spencer stood, and you moved to go with him.

"Y/N, you can stay for a moment. Keep me company. It's not very often I get any girl talk."

You did NOT want to have girl talk with his Mom, but you sensed there was something she wanted to say to you in private.

Reid looked at you and you nodded. He left the room, pulling the door to behind him.

A few seconds later, his mother looked at you, leaning forward in her seat and placing a hand on your knee.

"He writes about youin his letters to me you know. He writes about all the team."

Really? You definitely didn't know that.

"What does he say?" How curious.

"That you're the only member of the team that he struggles to get a reading on. That he doesn't really understand you, despite trying to. And I'm struggling too. You're very closed off you know?"

Brilliant.

"I didn't mean to offend you Y/N by implying you two should be married. It's just.... With Spencer having his own father so absent in his life, I'd hate the thought that any child of his would have to go through the same. I've always hoped that any offspring of his, would have both parents present throughout its life."

"Its fine Mrs Reid, honestly. I get it. And this baby won't go through what Spencer went through. He will be involved."

"Diana.... You're carrying my grandbaby. We can do away with formality."

You nodded to show you understood and she continued. "To be completely honest, I'm surprised to be able to say grandbaby at all. I didn't think I'd get the opportunity to be a grandmother, Spencer being the way he is."

Being the way he is?

Your brow furrowed and you suddenly felt compelled to defend the father of your child."Mrs Reid..... Diana.... Your son is a amazing man. And I'm certain he'll make a great father."

"Oh pish pash... I know how great his mind is, he takes after me after all. And he will make the most amazing father. I meant...... Well, he's never exactly bought anyone home to meet me. He's far too socially awkward and incredibly unaware of how much of a catch he actually is."

You nodded in agreement with her. It was true. As much as he did piss you off and wind you up, you could appreciate that he was a handsome guy. If you were into that type....

"Y/N. Can I ask you something else? "

"Okay."

"I get the distinct impression you're not exactly thrilled about this pregnancy."

You shrugged."I'm not going to lie to you. I wasn't. I've never wanted children of my own. But... I've accepted it. And, I'm getting used to the idea."

"You weren't going to tell Spencer were you?"

Holy fuck.... The BAU needed to hire this woman.

"I know my son Y/N. You're twenty weeks gone, and if he'd known for that long then I would have known about this long before now. He's not long found out himself has he? Which makes me also believe that you'd contemplated terminating the pregnancy. "

You knew the look on your face told her how correct she was. You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the feelings of judgement to hit you.

"I'm not judging you Y/N. Not as all. I wouldn't have wished being a single parent on anyone. It's hard work. And I won't ask what made you change your mind about that. Or what made you decide to involve my son in this. But thank you."

You opened your eyes, shocked by her words. You'd expected to be admonished by his mother.... Not thanked.

She squeezed your knee lightly. "I can see how happy he is, knowing he has a child on the way. I don't think he ever thought it would happen either. And you honestly have made me the happiest woman alive. All I've wanted is to see him happy."

Don't cry.... Don't fucking cry in front of his Mom.

Damn you hormones!

The door creaked back open, you taking a shaky breath to compose yourself and giving Diana a tight smile.

"I couldn't find Dr Lawrence. But he can fill me in when I call next week. Are you ready to go Y/N?"

You nodded and got to your feet, Diana standing and giving you both hugs and making you promise to keep her fully updated.

What you didn't know, is that Spencer had been standing outside the door for the last part of that conversation.


	10. Chapter 10

"So, question for you guys? Is this baby gonna be a 'Reid' or a 'Y/L /N." Derek asked from across the table.

Another three weeks had passed, and the team had been called away again. The unsub had been caught after a nine day chase and you were all ridiculously exhausted. You ached all over and you blamed your pregnancy hormones for the extra bitchiness you were feeling right now.

"Reid" Spencer answered, just as you responded with "Y/L/N."

Your eyes narrowed and you slowly turned to face your colleague.

Dereks eyes widened at the two of you as it suddenly dawned on him that he had crossed into dangerous territory. Very dangerous territory.

"I don't think so Spencer."

"Erm well I do. You get to carry her for nine months, and be the primary carer and what do I get? Not a lot apart from visitation rights whenever you deem suitable." He was cranky too, the bags under his eyes darker than normal.

Okay. Trying desperately not to bite, you stood and moved to the empty seats at the back of the jet. Everyone was tired and you were in no mood to argue with Spencer. You'd been doing so well recently, and he seemed to be realising more and more what annoyed you. His comments had reduced and he didn't interrupt you as much, although you could actually see his hands clenching and him having to bite his tongue when he knew the answer to something.

"Nice move Derek." You heard Emily mutter.

"Well how was I meant to know. Plus it's a valid question."

You settled back down on the empty seats, rolling your jacket up as a pillow and resting it against the window.

It was a valid question. But you knew it would cause an argument. And you just didn't have the energy for it.

But apparently Spencer did, as two minutes later he plopped down into the seat next to you.

"Are we gonna talk about this?" He asked as you looked at him wearily.

"I'm kinda trialling the 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' theory."

"But we do need to talk about. We need to talk about a lot of things."

"We probably do, and perhaps one of those things should be that I didn't particularly appreciate the implication that you'll only get to see your daughter when I deem suitable. I've given you my word that we'll come to some arrangement that will suit us both."

"Well I'm sorry if I don't seem to have much faith in your word. Given the fact that up until five weeks ago you weren't even going to tell me about her, kind of makes me want to get certain things like her surname and when I actually get to see her set in stone. " His tone was bitter and scathing and although you could see his point, it still cut straight to the bone.

"Spencer..... I'm not in the mood to have a full blown argument with you in the middle of the jet. I've promised you, we'll come to an arrangement when she's born. And as for her surname, I want my child to have to same last night as me."

"Well so do I."

You weren't about to point out that you could quite easily go and register her name and birth without his involvement. You didn't want to be THAT person.

"Reid please. I'm so tired right now. I can't deal with you griping at me today. Can you just drop it. I promise we'll talk over the weekend." You felt like you were going to burst into tears, hating the life inside of you for making you feel so emotional.

Spencer glanced at you, hearing the emotion as your voice cracked. His expression softened towards you.

"Okay. Promise we will though? I'm sorry for getting at you. I'm just..... Scared that you're going to change your mind about involving me in this again."

Oh.

"I promise. Please believe me Spencer, I know I was a bitch about this to begin with; not telling you and everything, but I won't change my mind. You're her Dad."

You reached out and clasped his hand, squeezing it lightly. He squeezed yours back.

"Okay. Thank you. We've still got a few hours flight time left. Get some sleep Y/N."

......

"I want Y/N to read me my bedtime story!"

Aaron rolled his eyes at you. "Looks like I've been replaced. You up for it?"

"I suppose so. Come on Jack, lead the way." You held out your hand to the little blonde boy letting him pull you along to his bedroom.

Hotch had invited you around for food again, the two of you had grown closer still throughout your pregnancy and he'd become someone who's company you genuinely enjoyed as well as someone you could count on.

You tucked the little boy into bed after letting him pick his bedtime story. After rereading it to him five times and seeing him still not sleepy, you heard a rapping on the door as Aaron stuck his head around.

"Jack, you should be asleep by now. "

You were lying on the bed next to him, him tucked into the crook of your arm as he was following the words along with you. It was kinda nice, the soft weight of him against you. But that was only really because you knew that his Dad was in the other room if anything were to happen.

"One more story please!?!" The little boy begged.

"Nu uh, you've had enough." Aaron strict tone coming through.

"What about a lullaby then, like Auntie sings. I promise I'll go to sleep if you sing to me Y/N! Promise promise promise."

You could see Aaron trying to hide a chuckle and you racked your brains trying to think of a lullaby. Your parents had never sung you any that you could recall, the only one springing to mind was one your Grandma had sang. You hadn't heard or thought about it for years but the words suddenly came flooding back.

"One song, and then I'm leaving the room whether you're a sleep or not okay?"

"Okay." He grinned at you widely.

You began to sing softly, just finishing the second verse when you felt a little zap in your stomach, almost like someone had given you a tiny electric shock. You stopped singing, looking around the room confused.

"What's up?" Hotch asked seeing the look on your face.

"Nothing, it's fine. " You resumed singing feeling the same funny little zap again almost immediately. You stopped again, looking down at your tummy.

"Are you okay?" 

And again.

"Hotch I think I can feel her. It's so weird."

"Lemme feel lemme feel." Jack asked you excitedly as his Dad crossed the room to his bed.

You took the little boys hand and placed it to your belly, pressing down where you thought it was coming from.

"Sing Y/N sing.... She must like it!" He begged.

You carried on and a moment later you felt it again, Jack giggling wildly with joy.

"Daddy I felt her! She touched my hand!"

Gosh it was so strange.... But so.... Cool! It kind felt like someone tickling the inside of your belly.

"May I, Y/N?" Hotch hovered his hand over your tummy, close to his sons hand and you nodded.

He pressed gently, his large hands warm through your thin t-shirt and seconds later the brightest smile you'd ever seen on him spread over his face.

"My god, I'd forgot what that felt like...She's very faint, but you can definitely feel her moving."

You met his gaze and grinned. "I need to text Spencer and tell him! In fact.... Aaron I know we were gonna watch that film, but do you mind if I rain check. With Reid not being able to see the baby yet, I think this might cheer him up."

You'd promised to book another ultrasound, but had not gotten around to it yet, what with work and everything.

"No no no, it's absolutely fine. Go! "

You kissed the little boy on his head making him promise to go to sleep before giving his Dad a quick hug and making your way to your car.

You drove the short distance to Spencers apartment, buzzing to be let in and hearing the concern when he realised it was you.

He'd opened his door and was waiting for you as you huffed your way up his stairs.

"Is everything okay Y/N?" He looked so worried until you grinned at him.

"Everything's fine.....Spencer I felt her kick! She moved!"

"Oh my god! When?" His eyes bright and shiny, and his hands twitching to touch your belly. "

"Like literally fifteen minutes ago." You grabbed his hands, pressing them to your tummy. You could feel something but you weren't sure if it was excitement. It was weird, you still weren't ecstatic about this, but it was kinda cool.

Reid waited expectantly, his hands splayed against your t shirt, pulling a face when nothing happened.

"I don't feel anything." Disappointment drenching his voice.

"Let me come in and sit down. I was lying down when she did it before."

He moved aside and you entered his apartment, you'd not been here since the night you'd created the little thing that was inhabiting your belly.

Walking over to his coach and taking your jacket off, you noticed newspapers spread out open at the rental page, marker pen circling some of the ads.

"You moving?" You asked as he sat next to you.

"Well my lease is up in six weeks anyway. I was just gonna renew, but I've only got one bedroom here and.... well I'll need two won't I."

Yeah.... You guess he would. You kept forgetting that part.

"So Morgans gonna come look at some two beds with me next weekend providing we're not on a case.... Can I.. Erm can I try again please?" He nodded towards your stomach and you smiled, lifting your t shirt up this time so there was no barrier between his hands and your skin. Maybe she'd respond better?

He pressed his hands to you again, you both waiting expectantly.

Nothing.

"Y/N are you sure it was her, and not just..... gas?"

"Yes I'm sure. Jack and Hotch both felt it too."

"Jack and Hotch." His expression darkened.

"Erm yeah, I was round at Aarons for dinner. But I came straight here when I felt her move. I knew you'd wanna know."

"So my boss and his son have felt my baby kick before I have. The same boss that knew about the baby before I, the father did?"

"Yeah." What was he getting at?

"Y/N is there something going on between you and him? Because you always seem to be with him during the big moments in your life recently. It seems like he's playing a bigger part in your pregnancy than I am." His voice was quiet and full of hurt.

"Me and Hotch? Hahahahaha."

"It's not funny Y/N."

"Yes it is......Spencer not that it's your business, but no, there isn't. I've told you this before and I'm getting tired of repeating myself. Aaron and I have become surprisingly good friends is all."

It WAS suprising, you were seeing a totally different side to him outside of work.

"It is my business Y/N. Someone else is experiencing all of the first things that I should be. You finding out. The scan, the first kick. I don't like it. He shouldn't be getting all of this, he had it with Jack and I'll probably never get the chance to have it again."

"Well I'm sorry but I can't control when she does and doesn't kick. Like I said, I came here straight away. I didn't have to. I had plans."

"With Hotch." A statement not a question.

"Don't even, Reid. There is nothing going on between us."

He sighed, begrudgingly accepting what you were saying.

"What were you doing when she kicked? Maybe if you do that, she'll do it again?"

"Erm.... I was singing a lullaby to Jack."

He looked at you, an expectant expression.

"Okay fine, but don't laugh."

"I won't. Promise."

You began to sing again for the second time that night.

"Quickly now quickly   
Blow out the candles   
Say your prayer, don't despair   
Pull the door handle."

That sharp zap again, and Reids hand jumped, his jaw dropping open. "Carry on" He whispered, "I can feel her."

He looked so sweet right then that you couldn't refuse him.

"All to sleep, rest your head   
Nothings gonna harm you   
In your bed.  
When you wake, we'll be here  
Here's a little kiss now,   
All to sleep."

You felt the tickling again and saw the image of wonder and joy plastered across Spencers face. "Keep singing."

"Seasons will come, seasons will go   
Time will pass slowly, but you'll never know.   
Deep in your dreams, life will be as you've always planned.   
Your special place, lullaby land.

Quickly now quickly now   
Blow out the candles  
Say your prayer, don't despair   
Pull the door handle   
Quickly now quickly"

You finished, watching a tear escape from his eyes. Seeing someone else's happiness somehow made you feel overcome with emotion and you reached out to his face, catching the tear from his cheek.

He looked at you, giving you a small smile before lowering his lips to your stomach and planting a kiss on it.

"That's so amazing. I mean... I felt Henry kick when JJ was pregnant but this is so different."

"Because you know it's yours." You explained.

"Yes. She is. She's mine. Well, ours."

He pulled down your t shirt, covering your belly back up and then quickly and unexpectedly, bent to you and kissed your cheek.

"Thanks Y/N."

Your cheek burned for the next thirty minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

"I want this one." You touched the handle of the stroller in front of you.

"Y/N its nearly eight hundred dollars." Spencer looked at the tag, pulling a face.

Another two weeks had gone by since you'd started to feel the baby moving. You were getting used to it now, and the team were becoming used to hearing your little outbursts every time her foot or hand brushed against you.

Spencer more or less remained attached to your hip whenever he could, and each time he saw you jump or grimace, his eyes lit up.

It was kinda sweet to watch and you'd taken to just grabbing his hand whenever it was just you and the team and touching it to your tummy so he could feel her.

Seeing Spencer so excited was having a strange affect on you. You almost felt excited yourself, and you were finding him less annoying and more..... Endearing?

It was sweet and cute and you could tell that he would be the best Dad in the world. Which was handy, because you were probably going to be the worst Mom in the world, so it would balance out.

He'd even turned up at your house with an ipod and huge soft headphones, pre loaded with music and books on tape that he was insisting you play to the baby. You felt kind of weird with a pair of headphones over your belly, but whatever. It kept Spencer quiet.

There had been a weird moment though, two days ago on the jet home. You'd been sat together and the little peanut had started moving so you'd taken his hand and put it on your tummy. The next thing you knew, it was an hour later and you'd woken up with your head on his shoulder and your hand was interlocked with his, still over your belly.

As you'd adjusted yourself and sat back upright, you could see JJ and Emily smiling at you from across the way.

You'd whispered sorry to Spencer, noticing the light drool patch on his shoulder as you pulled your hand from his and smoothed your hair back down. "s'okay" he'd replied, going back to reading the case file he had in front of him. But your hand suddenly then felt strangely empty, like it missed his touch.

You'd made arrangements to meet up on your day off, to actually look for some baby items. You still needed to clear out your spare rooms and the men had offered to come over and help decorate for you. You just actually needed to buy things. And seeing as you HAD the money, your baby was going to have the best things. If you were going to do this, you might as well do it right.

You looked at the tag on the stroller, shrugging your shoulders. "And? It comes with a detachable car seat. It's sturdy, it's pretty and it's got good reviews online."

"Yes but it costs more than most people's first cars."

"Well I'm ordering it." You added the order number to the sheet of paper in front of you. You'd told Spencer a week ago about who your Grandfather was. He was going to find out sooner or later anyway, and he kept asking about your hospital bills and how you planned on paying for everything and offering to help. You didn't want his money though and you'd told him this. He'd been shocked that you'd managed to hide your wealth from the team.......And then had talked your ear off for an hour about your Gramps films.

"Y/N you realise you've spent nearly three thousand dollars already."

"And?"

"When are you going to let me buy something? I thought that was the point of us coming here together?"

"Spencer, I don't need your money. Plus, you'll need it for your own apartment. You're gonna need a lot of items yourself."

"JJs already said I can have Henry's old crib and she's sorting a lot of other stuff out for me as well. And I figured we'd share the stroller? I want to help. And we've still got a lot more stuff to get as well. I want to buy things for her too."

"So buy things for your new apartment then?"

"I've got that sorted already. I want to get that crib you were looking at. She's going to be sleeping in it when she's not with me, so I want to buy it."

"No."

"Why not."

"Because I said so."

You'd walked to the cashiers desk, handing over your order form and your bank card. When you'd chosen the delivery date and paid, you saw him pull out his own bank card and reel off another order number to the cashier.

"What are you doing?" You asked him.

"Ordering the crib." He turned to the cashier "Can you deliver it at the time as the items you've just rang through for her?"

The cashier looked at you for confirmation.

"No." You shook your head. "I said no, Spencer."

The cashier looked back at Reid, obviously not sure who's instructions to follow.

"I'm buying this Y/N. Ring it up please."

The cashier started to input the details, you fuming silently to yourself. Why couldn't he take no for an answer?

The cashier completed the order, looking between the two of you and announcing the final charge. Spencer slid his card across the desk.

Just before the cashier could pick it up, you lunged forward, grabbing it off the table and replacing it with your own.

"Charge it to that one please."

Reids jaw dropped and the glare he directed at you could have frozen hell over. He started to speak but you cut him off muttering quietly to him.

"We are in the middle of a busy department store and I'm twenty four weeks pregnant. Do not fucking piss me off even more than you already are, because trust me. You will come off looking like the bad guy here, I'll make sure of it."

You looked back at the cashier, smiling as sweetly as you could. "This card please."

He took it and completed the purchase.

You stalked out of the store, Spencer following behind you, huffing and puffing at you until you got back to the parking lot and into his car. He started driving, you both sitting in silence the whole ride.

He pulled up in front of your house and you got out, slamming the door and heading up to your porch.

He followed. Apparently we weren't done.

"You just couldn't let me buy the crib, could you? You couldn't even give me that, one single fucking thing..."

You yanked your front door open. "Inside. NOW."

You stalked through the door, turning to face him when you were both safely inside and away from the prying eyes of your neighbours.

"Why the hell should I let you pay for those thing Spencer? These things are going in MY house. So I'm paying for them."

He glared at you, his eyes on fire as he spat out "Oh I don't know, because I'm her dad? Because I'd like to buy my daughter something too? So you're loaded, good for you. But if you wanted to prove to me that you're independant and you don't need my money, trust me you drove that point home fucking ages ago already when you bought the car seat, the bouncer, the baby monitors, the sterilisation unit and the countless other items I offered to get earlier today"

"If I drove the point home then why are we having this fucking argument. Why can't you just let me have my own way here for once. I've already given you more than I was intending to originally. Think yourself lucky I'm still in the same state as you Reid, because I could have so easily gone through with my original plan and left."

He really had no fucking clue did he?

"Have your own way for once?! Are kidding me right now?! You're having your own way all the fucking time! And now I'm supposed to be grateful that you found it in yourself to be a decent human being and inform the father of your child? Don't act like you did me a huge motherfucking favour!"

"If I'm getting my own way all the time it's because this child is inside MY fucking body and not yours. I'm the one that has to live with the stretch marks. I'm the one that has to deal with pushing this thing out of me. I'm the one that will have to look after it and be stuck with it, if you suddenly decide you've had enough and leave. Because it's always down to the woman Spencer. I should have never fucking involved you at all. I knew you'd get like this, all high and mighty, you always do."

"I always do?! Don't act like you fucking know me! And are you just gonna keep playing the "I"m the one going through all the pain" card every single time? Because if you are please tell me so I can ask Obama if he'll give you a fucking medal for it and I'll make sure to bow every time you enter a room. Clearly you just want me to praise you and I can't ever have an opinion or want anything myself. This isn't just about you so please stop being so damn selfish!"

You voice cracked as you yelled back. "Selfish?!? I'M being selfish? I'm sorry but who's the one who dragged me to see his own mother. The first time I meet the woman and it's so you can tell her I'm pregnant? I wasn't ready to tell our parents yet."

"You're throwing that in my face NOW? Really?! You should've said something then, not afterwards! In that case can we talk about how Hotch has been to all of your appointments and I've been to...let me think...oh right, NONE"

"Would you have listened to me if I had? No... Cos you never listen to anyone else. And fucking leave Hotch out of it. He's been there for me, not judging me like you seem to be doing every step of the way."

"I would have been there for you if I had known about it sooner but you shut me out! I'm trying to make up for the time I wasn't there to care for my unborn child because you robbed me of that chance, by trying to provide and I just wanted to buy her crib so I'm close to her when she sleeps in some way, because I don't get to hold her in my arms when she sleeps every night. But you just had to go and wave your money around AGAIN, completely ignoring my feelings."

"I appreciate your sentiment Spencer, I really fucking do. But I DIDN'T WANT TO INVOLVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. Get that into your thick head. If I had my choice, you would have never found out."

"So now I have to just kiss your feet and agree with everything you do and say? I don't get to want anything because you did me this huge favour and I owe you forever?"

"Pretty much Spencer. Like I said, think yourself lucky I decided to let you be involved at all. Because in my original plan, you were so far out of the picture you were in another country."

"Actually, in your original plan our daughter would be dead!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me! I overheard you talking to my mom. Tell me, how could you have lived with yourself if you had gone through with that because I honestly wonder. I'm clearly the only one who actually cares for this child because terminating never ever would've crossed my mind."

"Get out."

He didn't move.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE REID."

His mouth opened and closed a few times, and suddenly seemed to realise that he'd crossed a line.

"Y/N..... I'm..... That came out wrong."

"OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT!" You screamed at him over and over.

He looked long and hard before finally deciding that he should comply with your demands.

"I'm sorry Y/N."

You slammed the door and locked it behind him before collapsing to the floor in tears.

He was right though.... You didn't want this baby originally. How were you going to be a good mother to her?

How could you care for something you'd hated so intensely that you'd wanted it to die? What if she knew?

You rocked back and forward on the floor for a full half an hour before you found the strength to pick yourself back up again.

And then you did what you always did when you were upset and stressed.

Well, not quite. You couldn't down a bottle of wine in your current condition so you'd settle for the next best thing.

A nice hot bath.

You collected towels and your pajamas. It was only 5pm but there was no point in getting dressed again.

Dimming the lights in the bathroom, you rested your phone on the chair next to the tub, setting it to silent and turning it face down so you couldn't see it light up as Spencer text you apology after apology, now clearly terrified that you'd cut him out of her life altogether. Let him stew for a bit.

You undressed and settled into the water, leaning back and closing your eyes.

The day had started off so well. So nice, you and Spencer actually getting on and almost acting like a family.

When the store employees or other shoppers had smiled at you both and asked how far along and how long you'd been together, you'd just grinned and played along, letting them believe you and him were an actual couple. It was.... easier. And he'd seemed to enjoy it too, spinning stories about how you'd met at college or been high-school sweethearts.

How the two of you could change towards each other so quickly was ridiculous. Nice and almost caring one minute, to breathing fire at each other the next. You really were going to have to sit and have it out with him properly.

He needed to get over the fact that you hadn't told him and stop holding it against you. The facts were; that he did now know and you wanted him to be a part of the kids life. You didn't need him to be a part of it, but wanted him to be.

You sighed and shifted against the water, feeling a strange sensation.

Opening your eyes you saw that the water looked a funny colour.

It was.... Pink. Like, you'd started your period or something.

Period.

Blood.

Your eyes widened in horror and your pushed your hand between your thighs seeing a fresh streak of red as you pulled it away.

Oh god.... Oh god no.

Please no, not this.

You grabbed your phone and dialed.


	12. Chapter 12

He answered almost immediately.

"Y/N is everything okay?"

No. No it wasn't. It wasn't okay at all.

"I'm in the bath. And there's blood. I'm bleeding. Oh god, oh god. What do I do?" your breath coming out in tiny hiccups.

"How much blood Y/N? Are you in pain?"

"I can't tell. The waters pink.....I don't know!!"

"Okay. Get out of bath carefully and get dressed. I'll be there as quick as I can." 

He disconnected the call and you looked down, trying to assess how much blood there actually was. You couldn't tell, the water having diluted it. But it was definitely there.

You pulled yourself out of the bath carefully, dressing in your pajamas and finding a pad in your cabinet, securing it to your underwear. Finding an old FBI academy hoody, you wrapped it around you and collected your things.

When Hotch arrived you were sitting by your front door, knees drawn up to your chest and tears streaming down your face. Any pregnant woman knew that blood was a bad thing this far along in the pregnancy. 

"Come on, Y/N. Let's go." He spoke softly, leading you to his car and strapping you in.

"Have you called your OB/GYN? Is Spencer meeting us at the hospital?"

Spencer.....

You shook your head. "We had an argument."

An argument about how you were going to bad mother and how he knew you'd wanted to get rid of the baby. What if this was karma? The universes way of saying "serves you right" for being so selfish originally.

Aaron sighed, and switched his cell to speaker mode in its cradle."What's the number of your doctor?"

You reeled it off and he made the call, the secretary advising that the Doctor was on call tonight anyway and would make her way to the hospital. Thank god for private health care.

He dialled Reid next, and when he answered you could hear JJ in the background.

"Spencer, you need to make your way to the hospital. Level 7." That was where the secretary had advised you to go.

"Sir? What's happened? Is it Y/N?" Panic in his voice suddenly.

"She's bleeding Spencer."

You heard a thud and then strange noises. You couldn't hear Spencer then, only JJ. She must have taken the phone from him. "Hotch we'll be there as soon as we can."

The rest of the ride was silent, Hotch clearly not knowing what to say to you and you struggling to keep it together.

When you arrived at the hospital, you were shown immediately to a private room, the nurse advising that your Doctor was on her way and would be another ten to fifteen minutes.

"You and Dad try to relax. Are you in any pain?"

You shook your head, not even bothering to correct her. The only pain was the feel of your heart breaking.

"Okay, if you're wearing a pad, we'd ask that you change it now, just so we can run some tests and try to measure how much your losing."

She offered you another pad and a sterile pack to put your used one in. You disappeared into the bathroom, not looking at the smeared cotton as you discarded it into the bag and handed it to the nurse.

You climbed onto the bed, curling into the fetal position and hugging your stomach, Aaron sitting in the chair next to the bed.

You couldn't stop thinking that this was your fault. You didn't want her and that your body had finally decided to listen to your needs and do what you wanted.

Except that was what you'd wanted 10 weeks ago. Not now.

But.......You must be being punished. For wanting it at all. 

A few minutes later the door crashed open again, Spencer rushing into the room with JJ close behind him. Oh god, he was going to blame you. He'd never forgive you for killing your baby. Because essentially, you had. That had to be what was happening now right? Your body had killed the life it had nourished for 24 weeks and was expelling her from you, just like you'd wanted.

"Is she okay? Is my baby okay?" He narrowed his eyes at you, curled on the bed. "Or did you actually get what you wanted originally?"

"OUT NOW." Hotch stood, pressing his hand against Reids chest hard and pushing him out of the hospital room and into the corridor.

You could hear yelling in the corridor and moved your hands from your tummy to your ears, crying softly. Seconds later you felt a weight on the bed next to you. JJ climbed onto it, and pulled your head onto her lap, stroking your hair gently like you imagined she'd do with Henry when he was upset.

She didn't say anything, just making soothing noises. As a mother herself, you knew she wouldn't dare tell you that everything would be okay. Because she couldn't make that promise to you and only she could really understand how terrified you were at the moment.

"JJ what if he's right... What if this is... What if it's my fault." You buried your head into her lap, gasping for breath now as you sobbed freely and openly.

"Y/N shhhhh. None of this is your fault. You don't know what's happened yet, but whatever it is, it's not your fault."

"But I didn't want her! I wished her away.... I was going to get rid of her. What if she knows. And now...... Oh god, I can't lose her." You couldn't continue. JJ wrapped her arms around you awkwardly, kissing the top of your head.

"Shhhhh. Whatever is happening isn't your fault Y/N." She continued stroking your hair as sobs racked through your body.

"Y/N...... " You looked up to see Spencer and Aaron stood at the door.

"Your Doctor's here to do the ultrasound. She says you can only have one person in the room with you whilst she does it." Hotch spoke and you saw Spencer slowly close his eyes. JJ gently pushed you off her lap, climbing off the bed.

"Spencer..... " He was the Dad, it was only fair.

"We'll be outside okay. She's just setting up." Hotch gaveyou a grim smile and he and JJ left the room leaving Spencer stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. He looked like he might burst into tears himself at any minute.

"I don't wanna lose her Spencer " Your voice so tiny and small, it barely sounded like it came from you. He looked at you and crossed the room so quickly, climbing onto the bed and wrapping his arms around you.

"Me neither Y/N. I'm so so sorry about earlier. I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry for..... "

"Y/N...." Dr Merrins came into the room, an assistant pushing along a portable ultrasound machine.

"So we're what? Week 24?" She checked your notes. "Are you in any pain, any cramping?"

You shook your head, pulling away from Reid to look at her.

"And you started bleeding about an hour ago in the bath tub?" Said so calmly and matter of factly.

"Yes."

"All right. I assume this is Dad?" She motioned to Reid and you nodded. "I need you to hop off the bed for me. Let's have a look and see what's been happening okay."

Spencer obliged and you pulled up your top allowing her to squirt the cold gel onto your tummy, before pressing the wand to it.

Both you and Spencer turned to the screen expectantly, scared of what you would or wouldn't see, him gripping your hand tightly. 

Please, please, please let there still be something there. You'd trade everything right now just to hear her heartbeat again. Hell,you'd even be nice to Spencer all the time, you silently bargained with whatever deities there were.

For a few heart wrenching seconds you couldn't see or hear anything. And then, the familiar whooshing sound and an image on the screen.

Her heartbeat.

Oh god... She was still alive in there. Youhadn't killed her. Fresh tears started to flow, tears of relief, of happiness. Then Dr Merrins moved the wand about on your tummy, the image on the screen a changing every few seconds and you could see the tiny life inside of you. The life you'd been petrified had ended.

"Spencer..... "

"I hear her Y/N. And see her. Oh my god.... I can't.... She's okay?" He turned to the Doctor for the last part.

"She seems to be. Heartbeat is good, she's moving around and she doesn't appear to be in any distress. The placenta is slightly lower than we'd like it to be at this stage but not enough to cause any major concern. Y/N we'd like to keep you in for a few hours and hook you up to a monitor, but it honestly seems like it may just have been one of those things. Some women do experience bleeding all the way through their pregnancies, and it can be scary and concerning. You did the right thing coming in, but I think we're okay. We'll run some tests on the samples we've got, to check it's not blood from the placenta but I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Her heartbeat is strong." She patted your arm and smiled at you encouragingly and you let out the huge breath you'd been holding.

She hooked up a contraption to your tummy, wrapping a belt around you to keep it in place and on another screen you could see a little heart symbol flashing on and off. She then attached a pulse oximeter to the tip of your finger and you saw another heart symbol appear, monitoring your own. Pricking your arm, she then drew a couple of vials of your blood, taping you up afterwards.

"Right. Mom and Dad, relax for a bit. I'll send your friends back in whilst we go and run some tests, okay."

JJ and Hotch entered as soon as she and her assistant left.

"Well you're both smiling so can I assume everything's okay?" Hotch asked.

"It seems to be. They want to keep me here though for a few hours just to make sure. You don't need to stay Aaron, I'll get a cab. Thank you for coming so quickly."

"It's no problem at all Y/N." The older agent replied.

"Spence, I presume you're staying?" JJ look at Reid, who looked at you asking if it was okay. Of course it was.

"Okay. Hotch can drive me home and I'll leave my keys Spencer. Your cars at mine anyway so just come and get it tomorrow okay. Save you taking a cab."

She handed her car keys to Spencer, before leaning over and giving you both a quick hug.

"Keep me updated." You promised her that you would.

Hotch came over, hugging you first and then grasping Reids shoulder.

"If you need anything..... And Spencer, remember what I said."

"I will." He voice quiet and croaky with emotion.

The two left, leaving the room quiet except for the sounds of the monitors.

You turned to Spencer, swallowing loudly.

"I'm sorry Spencer. For everything. I was so scared.... I thought.....oh god. I thought we'd lost her. I know I didn't want her to begin with but I want her so much now.... I.... I.... "

He wrapped his arms around you once more, rubbing your back, his face pressed against yours and your tears mingling together. You cried together, for the baby you hadn't wanted, but now you wanted more than anything.

It had taken thinking you were going to lose her, to realise how much you loved her already.


	13. Chapter 13

The doctor allowed you to leave two hours later. Both yours and the baby heartbeats remained normal and nothing sinister had showed up in your blood work. You'd been booked in for another scan in three weeks time though, just to check the positioning of the placenta. It was slightly lower than it should be which Dr Merrins had said could have been the cause for the bleeding.

Spencer had asked if she thought it was Placenta Previa and the Dr had hesitated before saying that it wasn't low enough yet to be indicative of that, but depending on which way it moved over the upcoming weeks, could mean issues. She wasn't overly worried though, which calmed both you and Spencer.

You'd been let go, with the instructions to take it easy and to come back immediately if there was any heavy bleeding and pain. Spencer was insisting that you speak with Hotch, and ask to either take vacation days or be allowed to remain at HQ for the remainder of the pregnancy. You'd only be allow to fly for another eight weeks or so anyway, so you'd see what you could do.

The drive home was quiet, both of you still overwhelmed by the events of the evening. The emotional roller coaster you'd been on had completely exhausted you and you just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a thousand years. Except..... You really didn't want to be alone.

Spencer pulled JJs car up outside your house and you turned to him, hesitating before you said softly "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"I don't want you to be alone either. Do you want me to stay, my go bag is in the trunk?"

"Please, if that's okay. Just for tonight."

He nodded and you made your way to your front door, him following a few minutes later when he'd grabbed his bag and locked up. He followed you inside, looking around somewhat uncomfortably as when he'd been here less than five hours ago, you'd been in the middle of a screaming argument.

"I'm soo tired Spencer. Do you mind if I just go to bed? I'll sleep better knowing you're here. I just feel drained."

"No that's fine. You've had a tough few hours. Show me where I'm sleeping and your bathroom and stuff?"

"WE'VE both had a tough few hours. This can't have been easy on you either." You finally seeming to start to recognise that you weren't the only person affected by this pregnancy. Spencer looked surprised, but pleased that you'd realised how much this must have hurt him too.

"Erm... In terms of sleeping arrangements. I've got two spare rooms but none of them are fit for human inhabitation. I've started cleaning stuff out of them but it looks like a bomb has hit. So it's the couch..... Or.... My bed, with me."

"Oh."

Yes "Oh" indeed. The even bigger "Oh" came next.

"Spencer....... Don't take this the wrong way. But..... Will you sleep with me tonight?"

His eyes brows shot up and you couldn't help but giggle. God it felt good to laugh.

"Not like that you douche..... Share my bed tonight. I just.... Need you close. And I think she does too."

You patted your tummy where the little peanut had been wriggling around for the past hour.

"Okay....Thats fine. Lead the way."

You led him upstairs and into your bedroom, taking a fresh pair of pajamas into your bathroom with you. In your hurry, you hadn't actually emptied the tub. Ugh... You reached in and pulled the plug, the water swirling out quickly.

You changed again, checking the pad and seeing that the bleeding had almost stopped. Phew. Although the Doctor had told you it happened to a lot of women and could simply be "one of those things" you knew that if it happened again, you'd panic again.

When you left the bathroom, Reid had already changed. Tartan pajama bottoms and an old Greenday t-shirt were his choice of sleep atire. He was sat on the end of your bed awkwardly, obviously not wanting to get in until you did.

"Greenday? I did not expect to see that on you..... I'm surprised, but pleasantly so."

"I've seen them three times Y/N. They're awesome."

Huh.

"There's obviously quite a lot I still don't know about you then Spence."

"Apparently so."

You pulled down the covers climbing in on your side and watching as he walked around to the other and got in, adjusting the pillows so that he was comfortable. You flicked the lights off and rolled over to face him, your bump between you in the dark.

"Spencer..... "

"Hmmmm" He rolled over so he was facing you too.

"I do want this baby you know. She's a part of me now. And.... I was terrified earlier."

He reached out, his hand brushing your hair away from your face before settling on your arm. You inched closer on the bed until your small bump was touching his tummy. You really wanted a hug right now, but didn't want to ask. He got the hint straight away, shifting so he could wrap his arm around your back, your face settling on his chest and your own arm laying over his waist.

"I know. I could see it on your face how scared you were. I'm sorry for being a dick earlier."

"I'm sorry for being a dick for the last 10 weeks." You muttered into his chest.

He chuckled lightly. "So let's try NOT to be dicks to each other anymore then. Deal?"

"Deal."

You felt him lightly kiss the top of your head, feeling that was perhaps your cue to move away. Except you didn't, you were actually enjoying the closeness. Instead you felt your eyes start to drift shut, your breathing evening itself out as you both drifted off into a deep sleep, locked in each others arms.

......

When you awoke, sunlight was streaming through your drapes. You'd shifted position in your sleep and your back was flush against Reids front.

Your hand was clasped over his, pressed against your tummy and you could feel the tiny zapping sensation again. You wondered if he was awake too and was just about to ask when he spoke, sensing the change in your breathing.

"Do you want me to move?" Perhaps not used to waking up this close to someone himself. Especially someone he wasn't actually in a relationship with.

"Only if you want to. It's kinda nice being spooned.. Although the last time we were in this position...... " You trailed off.

His voice was still croaky with sleep."I remember."

"Can you believe we actually managed to hide it from everyone? Call themselves profilers!"

He laughed lightly. "I'm shocked too, I kinda thought they'd pick up on it as soon as we started talking to each other."

You closed your eyes again, snuggling back down into the pillows not ready to move yet.

" Y/N..... Why did you sleep with me that night? I mean.... It's no secret that I get on your nerves."

"Honestly?"

"Yes honestly."

"Because I was horny and you were there and willing....And because there was no actual attraction between us, I knew it wouldn't really be a problem."

"How would it have been a problem?"

"Meh, you know. Like one of us reading more into it than the other and getting all pissy and girly about it."

He laughed again. "But you are a girl... But I know what you mean. And just for the record, I do find you attractive."

"Well yeah... I mean there had to have been some kind of physical attraction there for us to actually want to bang each other... You were looking pretty fine yourself that night Dr Reid. But I meant..... Actually I don't know what I meant. Just that.... We could fuck and not make anything out of it."

"Except we kinda did though didn't we?" His hand rubbed your belly. "We made something quite spectacular out of it."

"Yeah I guess we did."

"Spencer......"

"Hmmmmm?"

"When's your lease up again?" A thought you'd had upon waking, one that you weren't sure was a good idea, but might solve a few issues. One being that you didn't really feel like being alone at the moment.

"A few weeks. But I can renew on a month by month basis until I find somewhere. Why?"

"You know how you said that you felt you'd been missing out on this pregnancy? I've thought of a way you don't have to." Ugh. Were you going to regret this?

"How?" His tone curious.

"I have three bedrooms. One for me, one for the baby.... And maybe one for you?"

Okay now you said it, it sounded ridiculous. You and Reid living together? It was almost as preposterous as you two....having a baby together.

"You mean you want me to move in?"

"No no no no no. Not want Spencer." No way were you going to admit that you wanted him there. That you'd found his presence last night comforting. "It's just a suggestion, if YOU want to. Your lease is up anyway and you said you were missing out. And maybe when she's born it would help me for the first few months? I mean we might not even last that long. I might end up killing you anyway."

He thought for a moment before speaking. "I'd like that. I'd really like that."

Okay..... Now you had a baby, and a housemate. You'd end up adopting a cat together next....


	14. Chapter 14

You'd lain in bed together for a while longer before deciding to move. Upon checking your phone, you saw that Hotch had text you, telling you both not to bother coming in today. You didn't have a case so it was just going to be another paperwork day.

You called him anyway updating him on your situation and asking him about the possibility of being excused from field duty and staying behind at Headquarters until you officially went on maternity leave.

With you being pregnant, technically the bureau had to do anything they could to assist with the pregnancy in case anything were to go wrong which they could be held liable for. You both knew this and Hotch agreed with your request telling you he'd been sourcing a replacement anyway, another female from Andy Swans unit and that he'd speak with them about her taking over sooner than planned. You thanked him profusely, another load taken off your mind.

With the day ahead of you now free, you and Spencer decided to start working on the spare bedroom. You didn't particularly want to spend tonight alone either and although last night had been fine, it wasn't a good idea for you to get too comfortable sharing a bed. You knew that you would eventually have to spend the night alone, but you prayed that any cases that came up in the next few weeks would either be local, or that Reid could work from HQ too. You'd mentioned this to Hotch as well who had said it would need to be assessed on a case by case basis, but if you and Spencer were prepare to foot the cost of a commercial flight if Reid was needed in the field, then something could be worked out. Spencer wasn't normally involved in many of the take downs anyway, so could work just as well via video links from the office.

You showed Reid the spare rooms, the smaller one directly next to yours would of course be the peanuts and the larger guest room with its own en-suite would become Spencers.

Reid drove JJs car back first thing, collecting his own from her house and picking up a few more belongings from his apartment before heading to the local home depot for storage boxes. The guest room had kinda become your dumping ground for your Gramps memorabilia along with old crap that you never used but didn't have the energy to take to the tip. If you could box up your Grandfather's stuff, then you could shift some of the crap into the smaller room for now so that Reid would have somewhere to sleep. It was a huge job though, one that you regretted starting almost immediately.

It didn't help that Reid was so interested in the stuff you had of your Grandfather's, like old scripts and film cells and stuff, insisting on asking you about everything.

Three hours had passed and you were exhausted. You slumped on the floor with a bottle of water, leaning against the bed next to Spencer who was quickly thumbing through yet another script he'd found, complete with all of your gramps notes.

"Which ones that?" You asked him.

"Jackal." Not even looking up, his finger running quickly down each page. It always amazed you watching him devour the written word so quickly.

"Ahhh. That's my favourite." It had been a sleeper hit at the box office but had won a fuck ton of awards including an academy award for best original screenplay.

"It's mine too actually." Still not looking up.

"Hey Spencer..... You know the little girl at the start."

"The one who escapes from the Jackal?"

"Yep..... Thats yours truly."

And now you had his attention. "Really? Oh my god thats awesome! You must have been what? 8?"

You nodded and explained how you'd begged your Gramps to take you to work with him again. You loved going with him, even though he couldn't always spend an awful lot of time with you when he was directing. He'd set you up in your own mini directors chair in front of one of the monitors and you'd just sit mesmerised. Most kids would have found the constant repition of the same takes being filmed over and over again boring but you'd loved it.

On this particular day, the production had run into issues. The actress playing the younger version of the protagonist in the opening scene, had been pulled from the movie at the last minute, her parents suddenly finding issue with the content. The producers had seen you sitting there, quietly observing the panic, and made the suggestion to your Grandfather. He'd been reluctant to begin with but had approached you and asked whether you thought you do this. You could and you did, so excited to be involved. You hadn't been allowed to actually watch the full movie until years later, due to its rating and it had been so strange seeing yourself on screen.

"So why didn't you continue with it then?" Spencer asked you.

"Erm.... Well, as much as I enjoyed it, I remember seeing the actress on the set. And for a nine year old, she was so spoiled and haughty. Her parents and assistants ran around catering to her every need and she reminded me so much of my older sisters, thinking they were everything but actually being no more important than me. I just didn't want to become that. I'd have hated to become from sisters or my mom."

"Y/N, why..... Why don't you get on with your family? You never really talk about them much except to say bad things."

"Erm.... "

"I'm sorry... That's too personal. Forget it."

"No its fine... You should probably know anyway. I'll guess you'll eventually meet them anyway. So, I'm quite a lot younger than my sisters. There's a 10 year age gap between me and the one nearest to me in age. I've just always......been different to them. My Mom spend a large amount of her childhood in fancy boarding schools due to my Grandads job. He told me once that he regretted it so much because it turned her into a 'spoiled little madam with ideas above her station'. And because my Grandparents weren't used to having the amount of money they were suddenly making, she pretty much got anything she wanted. "

You took a breath before continuing. 

"My Mom married rich, I strongly suspect she didn't love my father. And she did the same with my sisters, using money from her trust find and our dad to send my sisters to the same school she went to. My dad was away on business a lot so he didn't really have a say in what went on. He died just after I was born by the way... I never knew him. By the time I was born, my Grandpa was fed up with seeing her turning his grandchildren into little princesses and put his foot down with me. He told her that I had to go to a normal public school and have a normal childhood or else he'd cut her and my sisters off and they wouldn't get their trust funds. My mom remarried... For money again, but couldn't bear to lose her dad's money so abided by his wishes, although she employed nannies to actually look after me. And because Gramps was older and making less movies, he started spending time with me, that he hadn't with my siblings. It's all terribly boring but basically they just all have a sense of entitlement which my Grandpa blamed himself for and I don't feel any sense of kin to them. We're all totally different in personality. Plus my Mom's an evil bitch. It's down to her that I don't want kids."

"How come?"

"Because she's repeatedly told me that I wouldn't be a good mother and I'm terrified she's right." 

Wow.... Honesty for once. Most of the time you just told people that it didn't fit your lifestyle. But somehow.... You felt you owed it to him to be honest.

"Your own mother told you that you wouldn't be a good mother? What the fuck?"

"And my sisters..... To be fair. One of them had a point. I did nearly kill her kid."

He coughed "what?"

Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound. You'd never told anyone this.

"When I was thirteen we had a family party. My sisters are a lot older than me like I've already said, so I've got a fair few nieces and nephews. Soo the adults were all getting drunk and I was left in charge of the kids, supervising them around the pool." You took a deep breath before continuing. "I looked away for two minutes, texting this boy that I liked and when I looked up, my five year old nephew had fallen in. And he couldn't swim."

You could feel the panic you'd felt all those years ago settling back in.

"I couldn't move, I was frozen to the spot. All I could do was scream until the adults came running. They pulled him out but he'd stopped breathing."

Spencer reached his hand out placing it on your arm, the motion calming you without you even realising. "They performed CPR on him and thankfully, he started breathing again. And he's fine.... No ill effects. He probably doesn't even remember it. But I do. And so do..... they. My mom asked me what had been so important that I hadn't been paying attention and when I told her I was on my phone, she slapped me so hard that she split my lip and marked my face. She called me a selfish little bitch and asked me how I'd feel if my nephew had died because I was too busy thinking about myself. And she's right..... I'm too selfish to think of other people. It's always all about me. My sister, his Mom, said she'd never leave me alone with him again and that she hoped I'd never get pregnant because 'god help the poor child that has Y/N for a Mother'. And whenever a new baby was introduced into the family, they'd laugh and joke and say that I wasn't to be allowed near them because I'd drop them or something. So yeah...... That's kinda why I don't want kids. Because I can't be trusted to look after someone else's child let alone my own."

Spencer was staring at you, his jaw slack. "What did you your Grandpa say?"

"He didn't. He was away, and I never told him. I couldn't tell him I nearly killed his great grandchild."

It felt so strange saying all of this now, after all these years.

"Y/N, you were thirteen. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I should have been watching."

"You were thirteen. The parents should have been watching, not you. They weren't your responsibility."

"It WAS my responsibility though. It was, I shouldn't have been so selfish. But that's me. Selfish little Y/N. You've said it yourself Spencer."

"Y/N stop. Your family were out of line. In so many ways by the sounds of it. You know what it sounds like to me? Jealousy and resentment because of the special treatment you got from your Grandfather. They wanted to make you feel bad and they've used something that was NOT your fault to do that. It was a mistake, an accident. But it wasn't your fault. And it doesn't mean you won't be a good mother." His voice was quiet and soothing.

"But I won't be Spencer, I won't be. How can I be a good Mom when I wanted to get rid of her..... When I tried to get rid of her." Your voice cracking now and tears threatening to spill.

"Y/N.... You didn't though did you. Something stopped you. And you know what? Plenty of women who've had a termination go on to have other children and be great Moms. Thinking of terminating or actually terminating a pregnancy doesn't mean that someone is a bad Mother, it just means that maybe that person wasn't ready. Maybe circumstances meant that it just wasn't the right time." He inched closer on the floor until your shoulders were touching and he moved his arm so it was around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug.

"I'm truly sorry for the things I said yesterday. Now I know, I realise how much I must have added to these feelings. But what happened doesn't mean anything. I know you're going to be great at this. Because you're strong, and independent. You're opinionated. And how can you say you're selfish when you do what you do for a living? You risk your life on a daily basis for other people. Hell you've even saved mine a few times. You'll be great at this."

Tears were freely streaming down your face down.....Christ, you couldn't wait for these extra hormones to do one. You weren't normally a crier.

"You think so?" Maybe if he genuinely thought this then maybe it was true.

"I know so."

"Thanks Spencer." You whispered, wiping your tears away.

"Nothing to thank me for...... But you do realise you have to tell your family about this. And then show them how good a Mom you actually are."

Now that was a point. This was kind of your opportunity to proof them wrong. And fuck, you loved proving people wrong.

"Will you come with me?"

He looked surprised and taken aback by your question and you were surprised too. But you actually did want him there. 

"Of course. Anything you need, I'll do."

And you knew that he was telling the truth.


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh for fucks sake. SPENCER!!"

"What? What did I do now?" He poked his head round the kitchen door.

"What is that?" You pointed at the white powdery substance that was sprinkled over the kitchen counter.

"Sugar?"

"Do you want us to get infested with ants? I've told you time and time again you need to clean up after yourself, it's not the same as being on the third floor. We'll get bugs."

"Sorry." He grabbed some paper towels and some antibacterial spray and started cleaning up the mess that had no doubt been left there since he got up this morning.

Four weeks you'd been living together now. And for the most part it was okay.

You hadn't killed each other.... yet, and you'd actually found yourself enjoying his company more and more. It had been huge comfort to you having him there overnight, although you'd been back to the hospital for your check up and everything was now looking okay.

There had been four nights that you'd had to spend by yourself where he'd been required to be in the field, but Garcia had told you to call her straight away if you needed her. She'd offered to stay with you but you figured you needed to be a big girl and at least try. Your maternity replacement from Andy Swans unit, a chirpy woman named Kate, had transferred across early so you were free to stay at head quarters, helping Garcia and profiling via link up.

Reid wasn't exactly a bad housemate, it was just..... weird living with him. And he had annoying little habits. Like coating the kitchen counter with sugar when he made his morning coffee or forgetting to get groceries when it was his turn. He wasn't used to buying for two people either so when he did remember to pick stuff up, it was generally only enough for a few days as he'd only buy enough for one.

He also talked in his sleep and slept with his bedroom door open, so you could sometimes hear him rambling off random facts in the night. You'd walked past one night hearing "The word badger is said to derive from the French 'bêcheur' meaning 'digger'." When you'd asked him the next day if he'd been dreaming about animals last night, he just looked at you funny.

He left his books everywhere. Like literally, everywhere. You'd woken up one morning to find one open, half way up the stairs, another one on the floor in front of the washing machine. When you'd been to his apartment, it had been so clean and tidy, but when you'd questioned him, he'd just shrugged. "I was bored when I waiting for my laundry."

"And the stairs?"

"You have really comfy stairs. The carpets really soft and fluffy."

You'd looked at him trying to work out what the hell went on it that brain of his, deciding to just not bother even asking. "Just clean up..... I can't be bending down all the time to pick up after you."

He'd nodded and apologised, and then seemed to make a conscious effort to put them away. You wondered for how long?

He also struggled with privacy and would just walk into your bedroom to talk to you whilst you were changing. His excuse "I've seen you naked before" might have flown before but in the last few weeks your tummy seemed to have exploded and you were starting to feel really self conscious about the strength marks that were appearing. When you'd told him this, he'd shrugged and gotten into his car, disappearing for half an hour.

When he returned it was with a CVS bag, containing cocoa butter and bio oil which he handed to you. You'd been mildly offended thinking he was suggesting that your stretch marks were bad, until you realised it was just him trying to actually be sweet and do something nice for you.

You were exhausted after work and left Reid cleaning the kitchen whilst you went for a bath. You'd grabbed food on the way home, eating it in the car.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day, you finally agreeing with Spencer to go and see your parents. He'd agreed to make the four hour drive with you. You could have flown at this stage still, but you felt some what uneasy, and you could tell he did too.

Your Mother had sounded surprised when you called her, announcing that you were coming for a visit and to get the guest rooms ready as you and your friend would be staying over.

You relaxed in the tub for a good hour before climbing out and pulling your pajama on. Needing a drink, you headed back downstairs hearing that Spencer was still up.

Peeking into the living room on your way back through, you saw he was watching yet another documentary about childbirth.

"I thought you had every aspect of this memorised by now?"

"I have."

"So why are you watching another?"

He shrugged and you made the mistake of glancing at the screen just in time to see a very graphic image of a babies head crowning.

"Oh I do not need to see this."

"You probably should you know. Seeing as you've not been to any ante natal classes. Did you know that during birth your vagina will stretch to up to...... "

"Shut up shut up shut up!!! Stop talking about my vagina."

"Why.... It's going to happen. You know it's got to stretch to get her out."

"Yes but I don't need to know how much..... Oh god.....what if it never goes back to its normal size?" You'd avoided thinking about this up until now, but the image on the screen of those pink fleshy lips expanding and a head being forced out was making you recoil in disgust. And the noises the woman was making. Fuuuck, she sounded like someone was shoving a hot poker up her ass.

"Have you been doing your kegal exercises?

You weren't listening. "What if it stays stretched? Ugh... Sex will never be the same again. Oh my god! What if it ends up...... baggy?" You whispered the last part in horror as Spencer started laughing.

"It won't. It only stretches during birth. Although.... Some woman do tear or need an episiotomy."

"A what now?"

"Sometimes the doctor has to make a small cut in order to help the baby get out easier."

"NO ONE IS CUTTING MY VAJAYJAY."

"Relax Y/N.... It's a standard procedure. It's done all the time. You'd be back to normal within a few weeks. Women have a large amount of elasticity down there. You'll be fine."

"You don't know that! What if something goes wrong..... What if no one wants to have sex with me because it's huge.... Oh my god Spencer! You need to check it for me after.......I need to know if it feels the same afterwards or if she's ruined it. If YOUR child has ruined my fuck hole."

He was laughing hysterically now.

"It's not funny Reid.... I've got stretch marks, my tits are probably gonna end up saggy and droopy and no one's gonna want to fuck me because my vagina will be sooo baggy you can probably fit a watermelon in it.... It'll be like Dirty Dancing... 'I carried a watermelon'.. Yeah, in my fucking vagina! "

He was actually wiping away tears now so you walked over to him and whacked him with one of the couch cushions.

"Stop laughing..... This is a genuine concern. What if no one wants to bang me because my body is wrecked?"

He finally stopped laughing realising that as funny as what you were saying was, it was genuinely upsetting you.

"Y/N.....There will always be someone who thinks you're attractive regardless of the stretch marks or the shape of your breasts or the state of your vagina. Trust me."

"You can't say that. You don't know that."

He looked like he was going to say something else, his mouth opening and then closing quickly. Giving you a small smile he continued. "Go to bed Y/N. We've got a long day tomorrow."

He was right. You did.

One you were not looking forward to at all.


	16. Chapter 16

What should have been a four hour drive took nearly seven hours. You hit major traffic on the freewaydue to a huge accident, and you had to make Spencer stop six times for bathroom breaks. He'd insisted on driving, which as you always flatly refused to let anyone drive Elliot, meant seven hours in his Beetle.

"Why on earth have you named your car Elliot?" He'd asked you.

"Because she looks like an Elliot."

"She? You're so strange sometimes."

"Oh hush..... At least I don't dream about badgers."

"What?"

"Nothing.... Just drive."

You'd fallen asleep just after your last rest stop after calling and telling your Mother than you were running late.

"Always have to make an entrance don't you Y/N. Luckily it's only Amelia and George joining us for dinner this evening, so you won't be holding the whole family up this time." She'd huffed down the phone, her haughty voice dripping with disdain.

You'd had her on speaker phone and as you'd disconnected the call, you caught the look of Reids face.

"That's your Mother?"

"Yep."

"Wow.....who are Amelia and George?"

"Sister and her husband. He's the only one that's remotely normal out of them all. It might not be so bad if he's there too."

You fell asleep, Reid waking up you when his was just inside the city limits, not sure where to go. You directed him through the streets and into the gated community you'd grown up in, watching his eyes grow wider and wider as he took in the huge mansions that were set back from the streets.

Frantically smoothing your hair down and reapplying your make up, you could feel familiar sense of dread setting it. You'd changed at the last rest stop, into a smart black dress you'd bought especially for today, your bump protruding from it like a small beach ball.

"It's just coming up on the left." You pointed the turning out to him, blotting your lip stick as he drove up to the long drive. "Just pull up in front of the house. She'll get Martin to move it no doubt."

"Martin?"

You almost felt ashamed admitting that Martin was her butler. She also employed a middle aged woman, Mags, who acted as her cook and maid. Mags had worked for her since she was in her twenties and had been there for a large part of your childhood. Secretly you couldn't help but wonder how the woman had made it twenty years into the job without slipping arsenic into your Mother's meals.

He parked the car, and you zipped up the huge Parker jacket you'd bought with you. It hid your bump nicely, you wanting to at least get through the door before it was spotted.

"Ready?" Reid turned to you.

"Nope. But let's go anyway."

You climbed out of the car, making your way to the front door slowly, dragging your feet. You rang the bell and waited nervously, hearing the door unlocking a few moments later.

"Ah, Ms Y/N. And a guest. Your mother's been waiting for you. Do come in. How are you?"

"Hi Martin, we're fine thanks. Terrible traffic. " You entered the foyer, pulling Reid in behind you and hearing the clickety clack of high heels from the other room.

"Finally! The youngest daughter arrives." Ugh.... Your Mother, Amelia and George following behind her, George giving you a wide grin.

"Do give Martin your coats dear so we can go through for our dinner, we've been waiting long enough for you. Although how you can wear that monstrosity is beyond me. What happened to the cashmere I sent you at Christmas?" she asked in her cool tones, eyes raking over your companion.

"Well perhaps if you realised that I'm not a size two mother, I'd be able to wear it? I've told you before I'm not a stick insect."

She ignored you, holding her hand out daintily towards Reid. "Are you not going to introduce me to your handsome friend darling?"

Oh for fucks sake Mother."Where's Robert?"

"Your step father is out of town on business. Now young man, it's rude to keep a lady waiting. Who exactly are you? "

Spencer took your mother's hand and raised it to his lips, kissing it gently. "I'm Dr Spencer Reid, Mrs Y/L/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's Montgomery actually. After Y/Ns father sadly passed, I reverted back to my maiden name. I couldn't bear to keep his name."

More like you enjoyed the attention that Montgomery bought, especially when you insisted on telling everyone who your Father was, you thought bitterly.

She continued, giggling churlishly "And please do call me Veronica." she started to undo the buttons on Spencers coat, you catching his eye and seeing the uncomfortable look on his face.

"Oh put him down Mother, he has no interest in becoming your new play thing. We're here to tell you something anyway."

"We..... So you and this exquisite specimen are a we? My goodness, are you finally here to tell me that you've left that God awful job of yours and got yourself a fiance? One who's a Doctor at that?"

"Sorry to disappoint but he's not that sort of Doctor. He works with me at the BAU. And no, we're not a we in the sense you mean."

If Reid noticed the sudden look of distaste on your mothers face when she realised that he wasn't a surgeon or consultant, he didn't let it show.

"So what exactly is he doing here then? And for goodness sake, lose the coat."

"Can we go through for dinner first? I'm starving? Y/N and her friend can fill us in the reason for their visit over food." George interjected, seeing the scowl on Veronicas face.

"Yes Mother, let's do that. Spencer, this is George and Amelia. My sister and her husband."

"So you work with Y/N at the FBI too?"

The two boys started talking amongst themselves and your mother gave up, leading you through to the dining room.

Reid moved to the seat next to you and stood there, pointedly looking at your coat.

OK fine.

"We can still leave. They don't have to know." You whispered to him as quietly as you could.

"Know what?" Fuck.... You'd forgotten Lia had super sensitive hearing. You'd never been able to mutter anything under your breath when she was around.

Okay... No time like the present. Except there was, there really was.

"Y/N. Come on. Let's just get this over with."

Fine.... You unzipped your coat, handing it to Martin who was stood there still waiting, trying to ignore the loud gasp that escaped from your sister and mother as they took in your tummy.

"So erm... I guess congratulations are in order sissy." George spoke first, moving around the table quickly to give you a quick hug and Spencer a handshake. You'd always liked George, completely unsure how Lia had managed to bag someone so normal when she..... well when she was a righteous little cow.

"Martin can you ask Margaret to serve dinner please."

Okay so she was ignoring it. This, you could cope with.

"Please be seated."

Reid shot a sideways look at you and you nodded, sitting and waiting patiently for food to appear.

The questions started once Margaret had served up the first course, her giving you a sweet smile when she appeared.

"Are you two a couple?" Clipped tones, short and to the point.

"No."

"But you intend on raising this child together?"

"Yes."

"So my grandchild will not only be a bastard but will have to endure trailing between two homes? Oh joy."

Reid dropped his fork at the word bastard, quickly regaining his composure.

"We're trialling living together at the moment actually Mother."

"Oh yes, because that's going to work so well. How long have you known my daughter Spencer?"

"A little over two years? I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"You've known her for two years and haven't run a mile from her? Surely anyone intelligent enough to have the title Doctor can see that my daughter is not the type of person you have a child with. Or do they just hand doctorates out to anyone these days."

"Mother, Spencer has an IQ of 187. He's the smartest person I know."

"Then I assume he's one of these boys that thinks with his genitals and not his brains when it comes to females."

"Mom be nice." Lia finally deciding to join the conversation.

"I am being nice Amelia. I'm just simply trying to ascertain how someone with a Doctorate, could be stupid enough to impregnate someone as selfish as your sister."

She looked back over to you and Spencer, an evil glint in her eyes.

"Spencer, tell me. Did Y/N ever tell you about the time she almost killed her nephew. The poor boy had to resuscitated, all thanks to Y/N being too distracted by someone else. You best hire full time help, or else you'll come home from work one day to find your child dead. That girl, will be a terrible Mother. Mark my words boy."

Spencer calmly took a sip of his water before speaking, staring your Mother directly in her eyes.

"If I'm not mistaken Veronica, it was the parents and Grandparents of the young boy who were clearly too distracted by having a good time at a party. How you've continued to hold Y/N responsible for something that happened when she was 13 years old that was clearly not her fault is beyond me. What's kind of parent even does that? Makes her own daughter think that she'll be a terrible Mother?"

Your Mother went to speak but Spencer cut her off.

"I'll tell you what sort of Mother does that. The sort that is jealous of her own daughter. Jealous of the relationship she had with your Father, a relationship that you didn't get to have yourself. You resent her. Resent the fact that your Father stepped in when he realised what a piss poor job you'd done of bringing up his other grandchildren, turning them into miniature versions of yourself. I know enough about you to be able to tell you that it's not Y/N that will be the bad mother, it's you that WERE the bad mother. I have absolute faith that she'll be a fantastic parent, because she will do everything she can to be the opposite of you."

Veronicas mouth was now wide open, her eyes narrowed. Spencer pushed his chair back from the table, standing up.

"We've been in this house less than half an hour and you've insulted your daughter, myself, and your unborn grandchild. We're leaving. Y/N, come on."

Completely gobsmacked yourself, you pushed your own chair back and followed him out into the foyer.

Martin, who must have been listening outside the room, quickly handed you your coat before whispering quietly "Well done Dr Reid. I wish you and Ms Y/N all the best with the baby. I'll go and advise Mags to break the brandy out. No doubt Veronica will be needing it." He gave you a small wink as you shrugged into your coat and hurried out of the door after Spencer.

Wow. No one had ever even attempted to put your mother in her place like that before. Ever.


	17. Chapter 17

It took Spencer twenty minutes before he was able to speak again.

He’d made his way out the city and back onto the freeway, his knuckles white from how tightly he was clenching the steering wheel. Every time you went to speak to him, he just shook his head, sensing that you wanted to talk but that he couldn’t. He was too wound up.

You couldn’t believe that he’d actually told your Mother off. The only person to ever attempt that and come out in one piece was your Grandfather. Reid had stuck up for you….. Despite all of the horrible things you’d done or said to him in the past. He’d had your back.

The anger on his face as he’d stormed out the house had been indescribable, even when interrogating suspects or taking down unsubs, you rarely saw him lose his cool. There was something about it that had been sooo….. Attractive.

You shook that feeling off, glancing at him as he bought the car to a stop. Traffic… Again.

He sighed loudly, clearly frustrated and then you both jumped as a bright flash lit the dark sky followed by one of the loudest cracks of thunder you’d heard. Seconds later, the heavens opened, rain pounding down on the roof of the car.

“Fucking fantastic.” Reid muttered.

“I know right. It’s 8pm. If traffics as bad as it was coming here, we’re not gonna get home until the early hours. The roads must still be blocked from the accident earlier.”

“And I despise driving in the rain.”

“I know you do.” You reached out and squeezed his arm.

“Spencer?”

“Hmmmmm.”

“Thank you…. For sticking up for me.”

He turned to you looking surprised, as if they’re ever been any doubt that he wouldn’t have.

“Y/N of course I’d stick up for you. Your Mother was totally out of line. I honestly didn’t believe she was as vile as you made her out to be but now I think you were perhaps being too nice about her. She has no right saying the things she does.”

“Well still. Thank you. It means a lot that you would.”

“Of course.”

In the next hour and a half you moved about twenty miles at most. The combination of the rain and the accident that had delayed you before, making the roads terrible.

Spencer started to signal to turn off when he saw an exit coming up.

“I remember seeing a motel earlier. I think we might have to just call it a night. We’re not going to get home until a ridiculous time otherwise and I’m exhausted.”

“I could drive for a bit?” You offered.

“If the motel doesn’t have any vacancies then you might have to. But if we can get some rooms, then I think it might be better to just stay here and drive home tomorrow when the roads are clear.”

“Okay… Whatever works.”

He drove for another few miles or so, wipers going ten to the dozen, until you spotted a Motel with a vacancy sign. He pulled into the parking lot as close to the reception as he could.

“Stay in the car….. I’ll go see if they’ve got two rooms free.”

“Two? Spence we can just share. It’s fine.” Spence?….. Since when did you become JJ?

He clocked it too, his eyes flickering slightly.

“Sorry…… I know you don’t like anyone else calling you that.”

“No it’s fine…. And it’s not that I don’t like I don’t mind other people calling me that, it’s just JJ is generally the only person who does. It just sounded strange coming from you that’s all, but in a good way. And, if you’re sure, I’ll go for the one room. Be back in a second.”

He hurried out of the car, dashing across to the Reception returning ten minutes later with a key card in hand. He got back in the car, restarting the engine and driving the few yards across to another space just outside a door.

“We actually got the last room anyway, so we’d have had to share.”

“Thats okay Spence….. ”

He grinned at you and gave you the key. “You go in, I’ll grab the bags outta the back okay?”

Sliding out of the seat, you walked to the door as quickly as you could, getting pelted with the heavy rain quickly soaking through your coat.

Unlocking and pushing the door open you hurried inside, surveying the room. Standard motel room decor, basic but neat and the smell of bleach at least told you it was clean.

Spencer came hurrying in moments later, dropping your bags on the floor and slamming the door shut, pushing his now dripping hair out of his face.

“Spencer….. ”

“Yeah?”

“Im hungry.” You’d not managed to eat much at your Mother’s.

He sighed before admitting “Me too…. There’s a vending machine in reception. Do you have change?”

You chucked him your purse watching him hurry back out into the torrential rain, using the time alone to quickly peel off your dress and climb into your comfortable pajamas.

Shoving your hair up into a loose bun, you used a make up wipe to clean your face before searching for your phone and charger.

Six missed calls…huh. You didn’t recognise the number, but as you plugged it in to the socket it started to vibrate again.

You swiped to answer it, sitting cross legged on the bed. “Hello?”

“Y/N? It’s Lia.”

Your sister? What was she doing calling you. It said a lot about your relationship that you didn’t even have her number stored in your phone.

“I guess you want to have your say too then Amelia. I guess we didn’t really give you much chance earlier.”

Reid came back through the door, laden down with chips, pretzels and cans of soda. Realising you were on the phone, he quietly assembled his wares on the bed.

“Actually no…… Y/N. I wanted to….. I wanted to say I’m sorry. For how Mom reacted. ”

“Pardon?” You clicked your phone to speaker, motioning for Spencer to listen.

“I’m sorry….. Look. This is hard Y/N. I know we’ve not always been close and I know that’s probably more my fault than yours…. ”

No shit, sherlock.

“But, you don’t deserve Mom going off on you the way she does. And….. What happened to Will wasn’t your fault. What your friend said earlier made total sense. So…. I’m sorry okay. For everything. And….. Congratulations.”

You didn’t know what to say. Your sister never apologised to anyone for anything. Yet hear she was, on the other end of the phone, sounding choked up whilst she was apologising to you.

“Are you still there?”

“Erm… Yeah, sorry. I’m just taken a back I guess.” Even Spencer was looking surprised.

“I get it. It’s totally out of character and all.” She gave a small giggle. “I do mean it though, and I thought I should tell you. Y/N…… I’d like to be in your life again in someway. Maybe we could try to get to know each other again?”

Wow.

“Erm…. Oh fuck Lia. Erm sure, okay. Maybe when this baby is born you and George could visit or something?”

“Yes…. I’d like that. I know George would too. I’ll let you go now, but congratulations again okay. To you and Spencer. I liked him by the way, it’s not often someone can wipe that smirk off Mothers face.”

You ended the call, totally gobsmacked.

“So that was weird.” You turned to Reid, grabbing a bag of pretzels and a coke and tucking in.

“Very….. But, she’s making an effort. Are you going to stay in touch?” Reid was shovelling chips into his mouth.

“We’ll see. I’ll leave it to her to make contact again, but we’ll see.”

You ate, and then cleaned up your empty wrappers, Reid going off into the bathroom to get changed.

There was only the one double bed in the room some you settled down next to each other, you clicking the TV on to an channel marathoning old episodes of E. R.

You snuggled down to watch feeling sleepy, but not quite tired enough yet. Plus…. You were cold.

“Spencer…. Is it totally weird if I steal body heat.”

“How can you steal my body heat exactly?” His confused look making you giggle.

“Cuddling? Ugh forget it… It’s definitely weird. I blame the baby. I think she wants to be close to her daddy.”

“Daddy?”

“It’s strange isn’t it…. Mommy and Daddy.”

“Very….. But anyway, yes. Steal my body heat. I wouldn’t want to deprive the little peanut.”

Result… He lifted his arm and you snuggled close, resting your head on his chest soon feeling warmer and strangely content.

After two episodes, you could feel your eyes drooping and Spencers breathing had evened out. You clicked the TV off, Spencers eyes opening again as he felt your weight lift off him.

“Night Y/N”

“Night Spence, thanks again for today. ”

You leant in, intending to give him a quick kiss on the cheek as a gesture of gratitude.

But he turned, and your lips brushed the corner of his mouth instead.

You both recoiled slightly, but left your faces close to each other in the darkened room, the atmosphere suddenly as electric as the earlier storm had been. 

You weren’t sure which one of you moved first but your lips were suddenly against each others again, moving slowly and gently. His were soft and tasted of mint from where he’d brushed his teeth earlier.

He tilted his head, sucking your bottom lip between his, the motion so reminiscent of that night, that damn night. You’d forgotten what a good kisser he was. It was only when he moved his hand to your cheek that you pulled back, eyes wide as you realised what you were doing.

No.

Just no.

That could not happen.

“Shit.”

“Sorry.”

Both of you apologising hurriedly.

“Can we just…. ”

“Forget that happened and go to sleep. Yes please.” You rushed out, noticing that his breathing was slightly ragged.

“Yes, that. Sorry… Good night Y/N. Sorry… Shit. Sorry.”

“Forget about it Spence. Please. Good night.” You whispered, you both quickly turning so that your backs were to each other on the bed.

What the fuck was that all about?

Just….

What?

No. Just…. No.

Yet……

Nope, Y/N.

Your internal argument went on for a good while longer before you finally fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

“Oh fuuuck Spencer…… ” Your breath was coming in long moans, your back arching off the bed as your hands tangled in his messy curls, pressing his head and therefore his mouth, closer to you.

His tongue increased its movements between your legs, his fingers joining in, slipping inside of you and thrusting in and out, slowly at first and then faster and faster as your whines got louder and more intense.

You were nearly there…. So nearly there, just a bit harder, a bit more pressure and you’d come. You needed this orgasm so badly, the tension between your thighs building to an almost painful point.

“You taste so good Y/N.” He pulled away slightly, his breath warm and tickly on your clit.

“Oh god…. Don’t stop.” Glancing down your saw him smirking at your moans, his tongue swiping over his already wet lips.

“So you want me to continue then?” His eyebrows raising suggestively at you as he curled his long fingers inside your slit. 

“YES….. Fuck…. ”

Lowering his mouth back down, he sucked hard, pulling your sensitive bud between his lips.

“Oh god….”

“Y/N?……. Y/N….. Wake up….. ”

Huh?

That same voice that had been teasing you moments ago, was stood by your bed, dragging yourself from your dream.

Shit….

Forcing your eyes open, you rolled over in your bed, feeling the stickiness between your thighs… Ugh.

“Sorry but your alarms been going off for the past five minutes. Can you not hear it?”

Well now you could. You reached out and hit the alarm on your bedside table off. Spencer was stood there, already dressed for work, cup of coffee in hand.

“Balls…. Sorry. I’ll get up.”

“Okay. We’ve got plenty of time still. Just…… You’re normally up by now is all. Everything okay?”

Please leave…. Please get out of the bedroom.

“Yep…. Just struggled to sleep last night that’s all.”

You’d struggled to sleep because you’d been trying for two hours to find a position in which you could masturbate without getting hand or wrist cramp. This past week you’d been sooo ridiculously horny you were sure you were going to start staining seats at work. Everything was turning you on…. EVERYTHING. Spencer bending over, Spencer drinking coffee, driving over speed humps on the road, JJ in the tight little skirt she’d worn two days ago. Even Rossi… He’d started speaking Italian to Prentiss, telling her some kind of joke and just….. Fuuuck.

You’d read that some women got incredibly horny during their pregnancy and apparently you were one of them. It was ridiculous.

But this stupid bump was in the way and you couldn’t do anything for more than a few seconds without getting a pain in your hand. The angle was too awkward. 

And the water pressure in your house was terrible, so the shower head was totally out of the question too.

This was the second day in a row that you’d had a…..wet dream. The first one had been much worse and you’d woken up with the spare pillow between your legs, actually humping it.

Thank god Reid hadn’t walked in then.

Or… What if he did? Maybe he would have offered to take that pillows place? Hmmm.

Mmmmm.

You’d ride that sooo ha….

Stop it!

Get up. Shower. Clean yourself up and go to work. Do NOT think about Spencers mouth.

That sexy little tongue poking out between his lips. Or how he caught his bottom lip with his teeth.

FUCKING HORMONES! GRRRR!   
……

Work was uneventful, you spending most of the day hiding out in Penelopes bat cave. The team didn’t have a case so you were doing a lot of filing. Boring, boring filing.

“So…. How’s things between you and the Dr?” Penelope asked as casually as she could.

“Reid? Fine, I guess. We’ve been getting on really well. I still wish I could punch him in the face sometimes, especially when he uses all the coffee and doesn’t replace it, but yeah. So far, so good. ”

It had been a few weeks since the “visit” with your Mom. You’d told Pen about how he’d told her off, Penny loving every second of it. She adored it when Reid got pissy with people, providing it wasn’t her of course.

You HADN’T told her about that awkward moment in the motel room. The….. kiss. You hadn’t told anyone. You and Spencer hadn’t even spoken about it, waking up the next day and just continuing about your routine as normal. You’d been waiting to see if he’d bring it up first but he hadn’t…. And you didn’t want to bring it up because… Well. What was there to say? What did it even mean?  
The door to Pens office opened and Spencer walked in.

“Y/N….. Erm, I might not be home until quite late tonight. An old friend is in town and they messaged asking me if I wanted to meet up. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah sure…. I’ll bother this lovely lady here if I need company. Just let me know when you’re on you’re way back so I don’t have another heart attack and think someone’s breaking in like last time you went out with Morgan, okay.”

“Okay. See you later.”

He grinned, leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind him. Turning to Penny, you could see she was looking at you strangely.

“What’s that look for?” You asked her.

“You realise that when he walked in, you looked him up and down and then bent forward, pushing your boobs together. Classic look at what I’ve got for you, move. Which you just did for Spencer.”

“I did not.” You hadn’t, had you?

“You totally did. And now you’re blushing. What the hell Y/N?”

Awww shit. You shifted on your chair uncomfortably.

“Oh my god! You like him!”

“I don’t… I swear I don’t. It’s just….. Ugh. Pregnancy hormones. It’s like the baby wants me to make another one…. ”

“Ahhh yes. You’ve reached the “I want to fuck everything and anything but can’t” stage. I remember JJ going through that. She spent a lot of time in here hiding when that happened.“

“Yes! It’s sooo not fair. And at least JJ had Will to help her out.”

“Well….. You do kinda have someone.”

“Pen I love you to pieces but I really don’t think you’d appreciate me sitting on your face right now.”

She threw one of her tiny stuffed animals at you, laughing. “Not me silly. The person who put the baby there in the first place!”

Spencer?

“No freaking way.”

“If you asked him…… You know he would.”

“I’m not asking the Father of my unborn child to get me off. That’s not how it normally works.”

“Oddly enough Y/N, it IS how it normally works….. ”

Oh yeah.

HA.

But no.  
……  
Work finished, you making the trip home by yourself, swinging by your local take out for some Chinese food.

Arriving home, you ate by yourself before taking a long bath. You’d intended on starting your new book, but five pages in you could feel your eyes starting to droop.

You woke up an hour or so later, the bath water now cold. Checking your phone quickly you saw it was 9:30pm. No messages from Spencer, which was strange. Since he’d found out about the pregnancy, he’d barely gone two hours without checking up on you. And the last time you’d spoke had been at six, just before you left HQ for the day.

“Any idea what time you’ll be back?” You shot off a quick message. Not wanting to sound like a nagging wife, just wanting an idea as to whether you should lock up now and go to bed.

You finished up in the bath, pulling your pajamas on and drying your hair, before going back downstairs to see what was on the TV.

Still nothing from Reid. Okay, give it until 11pm maybe. Although it really wasn’t normal for him to go this long. Had something happened? Maybe Morgan knew where he was? You texted him quickly, you know, just wanting to make sure Spencer was safe.

A reply a few moments later. “Baby girl, he’s with Austin. That hot bartender friend of his. He said he’d told you? Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I’d just forgotten that’s all. Baby brain. ”

Austin?

Hot bartender?

Wait…..

A memory came back from nearly eight months ago.

“I prefer not to have random hook ups. I have an arrangement with someone who I see every few months when they come into town.”

No FUCKING way.

So you were here, carrying HIS child, and feeling helplessly turned on…. And he was with some girl, getting his end away?

No fucking way.

You picked up your phone, calling him. He answered on the third ring.  
“Y/N…. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?”

“The baby is fine Spencer. I was just wondering if you were planning on coming home tonight? You’ve not replied to any of my messages. Where are you anyway?” Trying to keep your voice as smooth and calm as possible. He hadn’t told you where he was going, let’s see if he’d be honest.

“Just at a friends….. I won’t be too much longer I don’t think. Why? W-What’s up?”

Ahhh, the nervous stutter.

“What friend Spencer…. Anyone I know?”

You could hear muffled noises, and a shuffling sound. “No one you know…”

“Spencer…. Come back to bed sexy. ” A females voice in the distant background.

“Come back to bed…. SEXY?!?!”

He coughed loudly… “Erm…..”

“Does she know you’ve got a baby on the way…. Sexy? I hope you’re remembering the condom with her. Or shall I expect a little half brother or sister in nine months?” Wow, you knew you were being a bitch but you couldn’t stop it.

He sighed loudly. “Look, could you please just…stop? I’m kinda in the middle of something and you’re being unreasonable. I’ll be home soon, ok?”

“Yeah, sure sounds like you’re in the middle of something. Sounds like you’re in the middle of someone actually. Dr Spencer Reid, man whore. Who knew eh?”

“I-I’m not…we’re not…I mean…oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m not even going to explain. Just…I’ll come home.”

“Don’t bother Spencer. Stay with your little slut…” Ending the call quickly, you threw your phone down. How fucking dare he.

Seething, you locked up before grabbing your phone and going to bed, throwing yourself down onto th mattress.

How dare he be out fucking some random girl when you were stuck here, pregnant with his child.

Lying on the bed, you tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. Ten minutes later you heard a loud slam and an angry voice calling your name, followed by feet pounding up the stairs.

Your bedroom door flew open, Spencer stood there, his hair a messy birds nest and his clothes in dissaray.

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, glaring at the man stood in front of you. “I thought I told you not to bother coming home”

“I know you didn’t actually mean that, you’re just angry with me for whatever reason that I hope you’re gonna explain to me right now.” He stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m angry that you didn’t have the decency to tell me where you were actually going or what you were actually doing…. Or perhaps I should say, who you were doing.”

“I don’t know what you think that was but I’m not going into any detail I just…I just fail to see why I suddenly need to tell you where I’m going and with whom.”

“What I think that was? Oh come on Spencer…. Come back to bed sexy….don’t tell me you were just reading her a fucking bed time story. And as for why you should tell me where you’re going. Perhaps because I’ve got your child inside of my womb. Christ for someone so smart you’re a fucking dick sometimes.”

“What went on is none of your business and it has nothing to do with our child! I went out for a couple of hours for some private time like I told you I would. How does that make me a dick?!” His eyes narrowed at you.

“It has everything to do with our child when you’re out fucking some random girl… Is she gonna be our daughters step mommy Reid? Is that it? And don’t even try to tell me that’s not what you’ve been doing. Your fly is still down and your shirts buttoned up wrong.”

Watching him quickly glancing down and seeing his mistake would have been amusing if it wasn’t for the situation.

“I-I…ok fine! I had sex. Big fucking deal! She’s not some random girl, and she’s certainly not a slut like tou suggested over the phone. Me and her get together every now and then to enjoy each other’s company. Come to think of it I’m pretty sure I’ve told you about that one time so you could’ve known that’s what I do sometimes.”

“Yes, you did tell me. But I kinda of presumed that, what with you having a baby on the way, you’d be able to keep your dick in your pants. It’s not like I can go around fucking any guy I want to can I?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him and mimicking his choice of words nastily “Enjoying each others company, is that what we did Reid? Enjoyed each others company that one night.”

“What do you want me to say?! Would you prefer I said me and her occasionally have steaming hot sex? What are you really angry about anyways? Does it really bother you that I got laid or are you just upset that you can’t right now? Because I empathise, I do, but you don’t get to decide that I can’t have a sex life!”

Steaming hot sex……ugh. And the annoying thing; it probably was.

“Why would I be upset that you got laid Spencer? You’re right, you can go out and bang anyone you want to. And by that right, so can I. You know I bet if I look online, they’ll be a ton a men, probably within a ten mile radius of here that have a pregnancy fetish. I’ll make contact with one of them shall I? Oh wait…. I distinctly remember someone saying weeks ago that it would be ‘inappropriate for me to date someone else, when I had your child inside of me’. So if it’s inappropriate for me, then why is it okay for you? If I can’t do it, then you fucking well shouldn’t be allowed to either. You should have to suffer as much I am!!! ”

“Because I don’t have a child inside of me that’s gonna get poked if I have sex with someone! Can we please just stop arguing about this? You know I don’t have sex often…can you please just let me have this one thing and stop trying to make me feel bad and embarrassed about it?”

No, you couldn’t.

“Poked? Reid you know better than anyone that that wouldn’t happen. Plenty of women have sex during pregnancy, hell it’s even recommended as a labour inducer. And the reason you don’t have sex very often….. Because you never ask for it! Spencer you could have it from any woman you wanted, so stop pulling the shy, awkward, nerd act. It’s fine… I’ll let you have this one thing. Go back… Fuck her again, bang her so hard, until she’s screaming your name. Maybe I’ll go and see what Aaron is up to. Or Derek. If it’s okay for you then it’s okay for me. I shouldn’t have to sit here horny as FUCK”

“Well it sure as hell would be a bit odd to have another man’s genitals that close to our baby now wouldn’t it?! And don’t you worry I don’t need to go back to make her scream my name because frankly, she already did. Just stop trying to wind me up and tell me what you actually want to hear from me so I can go to bed! Oh and if you’re so horny then…I don’t know…help yourself maybe?”

“Do you not think I’ve haven’t already tried!! I’m a freaking expert at taking care of myself normally, but I have this HUGE unattractive baby bump in the way. I can’t get myself off and you’re out getting yourself and someone else off. If I’m not allowed to get another man to help me do it, then what exactly am I meant to do? I feel like I could fucking explode. That’s why I’m angry Spencer.”

A huge smirk played over his mouth as something clicked in his head.

“Oh so THAT’s what this is about. You know I recall someone telling me to just ask for it…in other words, I don’t understand why you’ve been beating around to bush for the past 20 mins when the solution to your problem seems very simple…”

“Yeah it is…. I’ll call Derek. That’s what you mean right?”

You knew exactly what he was getting at but that was NOT going to happen  
“Sure, in fact let me call him for you so you don’t need to worry about explaining the situation. I’m sure he’ll be VERY comfortable with this.”

“I’m sure he will. In fact, screw Derek. Let’s go straight for the big boss man. You know, you seemed so sure there was something going on between us in the first place. Might as well make that a reality right.” You reached for your phone, clicking over to your phonebook.

“Ok, stop STOP! If anyone’s fucking you it should be me, and it’s going to be me if you’re serious about needing to get off.”

“Not when you’re still shagging someone else it’s not. And who says I’d want to fuck you again anyway!”

“Oh please, by now it’s crystal clear that the only reason you’re mad at me is because you wish I was fucking you instead of her. You wish you could feel my tongue right between your thighs, slowly teasing your clit, my fingers inside of you….if I’m wrong then look into my eyes and tell me.”

Oh fuck…….Hearing him say those things just took you straight back to that night. For someone so sweet and innocent acting most of the time, the boy sure had a filthy mouth in the bed room.

You couldn’t look him in the eyes. Because it was true.

“Get out of my room Spencer. This conversation is over.”

“You can’t do it, can you? You can’t tell me you don’t want to feel me inside of you, don’t want me to make you come…”

“SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM.”

“Tell me you don’t want me then and I will, because I don’t think you can.” He stood there, his arms folded across his chest. When did he get this confident? And how did he know? 

“Fine… You’re right.”

What was the point anymore.

“I’m horny as fuck and haven’t been able to stop thinking about having your mouth on me, your hands on me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you making me come. The past two nights, I’ve dreamt about having your mouth between my legs, in fact this morning, that’s what I was dreaming off when you woke me up. Happy now?” You glared at him, annoyed that you’d had to confess. 

“So what’s the problem then Y/N. You’re horny, I’m more than willing. It’s not like we haven’t before. And it was great then, you know it will be great now.”

Ugh….. It would. 

“I’m not fucking you when you’ve got someone else on the side.”

“And if I end my little arrangement?”

Why would he even do that? 

You shrugged, trying not to think of the possibilities if he did. 

“I’ll go back to her hotel room right now. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Wait…. What?” You watched as he turned and left your room.

Calling after him. “Spencer… Why are you going back there. SPENCER…Come back….. REID!”

What the hell was happening?


	19. Chapter 19

Where was he going? Why was he going back to the hotel?

Oh fuck.

What had you done?

Ugh. Why were you so wound up by the thought that he was out fucking someone else? Was it just because you were so damn horny yourself? Stupid pregnancy hormones. Stupid bump getting in your way.

It had to be right? I mean, if you were an actual couple then the answer would be simple. But you weren’t.

So the fact that he could go out and screw anyone he wanted to, without even a thought for how you were feeling had to be what was annoying you. The guy was a genius… He had to know that in the third trimester, lots of women got inexplicably turned on. He had to know this!

Ugh… And then to try and lie about it!  
Just no.

But if he’d come to you and told you his plans for the evening what would you have said really?

You’d have skitzed out on him. Let’s be honest, you would have. And you would have told him he couldn’t go. And then you’d have ended up yelling.  
So pretty much how tonight had ended but he’d actually got his dick wet before you’d turned back into a bitch.

And he had a point. You’d had no real right asking him where we was and who he was with. Or what he was doing. He wasn’t yours to keep tabs on. And he’d picked up straight away when you’d called so you couldn’t even throw that in his face.

Oh god…..you were going to have to apologise.

Ugh.

Although….. Really? Were you? He’d been a dick too, telling you the real reason you’d been so annoyed was because you were jealous that he was with someone else and not you. Just because you’d had a few dreams about him and couldn’t stop staring at his mouth…. Or his ass…. Or his hands…. And oh fuck, you’d actually admitted it to him as well. Great move, Y/N!

But you didn’t actually want him…. You just wanted him to make you come. There was a difference. 

This didn’t mean anything, nothing at all. You didn’t actually want him. 

No.

You didn’t.

Right?

Right.

Definitely not.

Where was he anyway? You checked your phone. He’d been gone half an hour. “Back in a few”. He’d said. Although back for what?

Screw this…… You needed sleep. You just hoped you weren’t going to have another one of those dreams again. You really weren’t sure you could cope.   
……  
Oh for fucks sake.

Another one?

Except…. Oh fuck. Oh jesus fuck.

Were you still dreaming?

Or…

Because it really felt like someone was kissing your neck right now, hands trailing up and down your body. And it felt so good. So fucking good. 

You must be dreaming. You heard yourself murmuring Lower” thinking how realistic this felt. 

The lips trailed lower, skimming over your covered breasts and stomach. 

Hearing a familiar voice asking “Lower still?Do you want more?”

You whimpered in response. 

Hands gripped your pajamas bottoms, dragging them and your panties down and seconds later you felt lips on you, a tongue flicking out and tasting you, teasing you in your most sensitive area. 

Christ, this was the best dream yet……..It actually felt like you were being eaten out right now. 

Wait, were you? 

Holy shit……. Had Spencer come home?

“Oh fuuuck.” Your hips lifted off the bed as two fingers joined in, entering you and curling inside as a pair of soft lips sucked at your clit hard. This was real…. And fuck, that was hot. 

Your eyes flew open, and you strained up in bed, the bed covers already pushed aside. Adjusting to the darkness, your eyes settled on the messy hair of the man you’d been arguing with not all that long ago.

“Spencer….. Oh my fuck…. Oh god.”

His tongue flicked quickly over you as his fingers thrusted inside, his long digits hitting in just the right spot. Fuck, this wasn’t going to take long at all. Your legs were already starting to tremble.

His lips pursed again, his teeth grazing your throbbing nub as he sucked you into his mouth, his tongue circling it, the pressure alternating between fast and slow.

“Oh my god…. Fuck…. Oh my. Fuck… Spencer!”

Light headed from panting, you gripped at the bed sheets trying to control the shudders that were racking through your body and forcing you to gasp out the name of your colleague and housemate as you came.

You were sure you could feel the smirk on his lips as he lapped up the fluid you knew was pooling between your thighs. Removing his fingers from you once the trembles had stopped, you watched as he climbed off the bed and pushed his hair back off his face.

“Happy now?” In a voice that seemed to be dripping with a mixture of confidence and sarcasm. He walked to the door, pausing before leaving your room.

“You know where I sleep if that wasn’t enough for you. You don’t have to worry about Austin anymore.”

He closed your door and you heard him padding down the hall into his own room.

Well fuck.

Jesus fucking fuck.

Just….

You both hated and loved him for knowing how badly you’d wanted that….No. NEEDED that.

His mouth…. Oh god. There’d been reason that you’d had sex three times that one night. Because the man was fucking amazing in bed. Something that when you’d actually thought about it, didn’t surprise you that much.

It was always the sweet and innocent looking ones after all.

Oh jeez don’t start thinking about THAT night Y/N. Don’t…..

Too late.

But.

“You know where I sleep if that wasn’t enough.”

Could you?

It was just sex right? Him helping out the Mother of his child?

He did kinda owe it to you right. It was thanks to his spawn that you weren’t getting any.

Telling yourself again that it was just sex, you rolled out of bed, grabbing your robe and shrugging into it before exiting your room and walking down the corridor to his.

“Not enough?” His voice quiet as you stood leaning on his door frame nervously.

You shook your head, a little voice wondering when the hell Spencer Reid had become the sort of stud that would have two different girls in bed in the same night.

“So you admit that the only reason you were going off at me is because you wanted me? You know, you were already moaning my name when I came into the room. And you were already wet. Dreaming?”

Confident…. Again. He was going to start getting an ego if you weren’t careful.

“I can’t control my dreams Reid. It’s these stupid hormones. And its not you specifically. Maybe just your mouth, fingers and dick.”

“So come and have them then.” He flipped the bed covers down.

You stared at the empty spot on the bed next to him for a minute.

Fuck it. No going back now.

Kicking the door shut, you joined him on the bed, your lips going straight to his.


	20. Chapter 20

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Spence I'm fine... Penelope is at the other end of the phone if I need her... And you've just said the case is up. You'll be home tomorrow right?"

"Yes, if I wasn't so tired I'd drive back now but Derek won't give me the keys, he says I'm being too overprotective. I don't like leaving you alone at 37 weeks. I should be there in case anything goes wrong." He sighed heavily and you could tell he was pacing his hotel room.

"You ARE being overprotective. She's not due for another three weeks. I've been fine for the last five nights. Stop worrying. I'll see you tomorrow okay."

"Okay. Good night Y/N."

"Night Spence."

You'd officially started your maternity leave two weeks ago, although out of sheer boredom you had found yourself in Garcias office on multiple occasions during those 14 days. For the past five days, Spencer had been out of town. The case was only in the next state over, a mere three hours drive away but from what he'd said, Derek had pretty much been awake for the past 36 hours and was in no state to drive. And Derek was very precious about letting Reid drive. It just wasn't going to happen.

Your relationship with Reid had taken a turn for the..... interesting, since that night a few weeks ago. It hadn't just been a one off occasion either. The more you did it with him, the more you wanted to do it with him, and he seemed happy to fulfil your needs. You'd be soo pleased when this baby was out of you and the extra hormones gone. Plus, once you'd squeezed a watermelon out of your vagina you were fairly certain you'd not want anything else up there for a good while.

You'd asked him about what he'd told his friend. He'd just shrugged and said that he'd been honest and told them that he was going to be a father and something had made him realise that he shouldn't be out screwing around when the mother of his child was at home alone. The poor girl had been mortified apparently, thinking initially that you and Reid were a couple until he'd explained.

You and Reid a couple! Haha. The thought still made you giggle. It was just laughable. You two weren't like that, you were just making the best out of a bad situation. You two didn't have sorts of romantic feelings for each other.

Right?

That question had been bugging you for the past week. The sex you'd been having was amazing and you'd been very good at going back to your own bedroom afterwards. Until one morning you'd woken up wrapped tightly in his arms again.

And you'd realised that the sex wasn't the only thing you were enjoying. You were enjoying his company too, his presence.

Pregnancy sex was weird though. There were things that you normally would not find a turn on at all, but then all of a sudden seemed incredibly hot to you. You couldn't do it missionary due to the bump so it meant you either on top, lying on your side, or bent over. They'd been one night when he'd slipped, and pushed against another entrance. But when he'd apologised you'd found yourself telling him to do it. And he had.... And it was... Strange. Something you weren't sure you'd be asking for again.

Nothing had changed in your day to day relationship. You weren't a couple. You definitely didn't have feelings for each other. He was just.... Helping you out. But the orgasms you were getting out of him definitely made him less irritating to you. Whenever he started rambling and annoying you, you'd find yourself thinking about sitting on his face to shut him up.

And somehow that helped things.

You locked up your house and headed off to bed, stopping by the door of the newly refurbished nursery.

Last weekend the team had come around, rather than throwing you a baby shower you'd requested that they all chip in and help your redecorate the babies room. You and Spencer had finally managed to empty the room of all of the crap that had accumulated in there, but you hadn't had chance to actually decorate.

The whole team had pitched in and in the space of a weekend, they'd turned the unloved spare room into a brightly decorated haven, a crib taking centre place.

In three weeks, there would be another life inhabiting that room. One that you'd be responsible for... Well you and Spencer.

You and Spencer.

Mom and Dad.

Fuck that was so weird. You weren't sure if you'd ever get used to it.

The team had asked you about baby names as well and you had Spencer had just grinned at each other.

You'd picked one out together, and surprisingly you hadn't argued. Spencer had suggested the name during a long conversation and you'd immediately known that it was right. There was still some discussion on the surname. The compromise would be to double barrel it, but Y/L/N - Reid sounded ridiculous.

You'd sort it out eventually.... You had to. But at least you'd agreed on the first name.

Climbing into bed, you plugged your phone into your charger, settling down and falling into a deep sleep almost immediately.

You were awoken a few hours later by a loud ringing.

Sluggishly, you reached for your phone seeing Garcia flashing up on the screen. You swiped to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Y/N.... Theres been an accident. It's Spencer and Derek. They're hurt." She sounded choked up, her own breathing uncontrolled.

"What......WHAT?... Is he okay. Are they okay? Which hospital... Is Spencer okay? Penelope is Reid alright?"

She named the local hospital, meaning they were somehow back in the city and you starting waddling about, pulling on your clothes as quickly as possible. She didn't know any more.. She was in Dereks phone as his emergency contact and had received the call only a few moments before.

"Pen, I'll meet you there... Oh fuck."

Please let him be okay.

Please.


	21. Chapter 21

No no no no no.

Just.

Oh god.

You didn’t remember anything from the drive to the hospital, you were on complete auto pilot. Dashing as quickly as you could from the car to the ER entrance, you saw Penelope running from the opposite direction. She lived further from the hospital than you did so must have broken a fair few traffic violations to get here at the same time.

Her eyes were misty and red, but her demeanor was strong and determined. After greeting each other with a quick hug, you entered through the automatic doors and rushed to the admissions desk.

“The maternity ward is level seven.” The clerk looked you up and down, taking in your condition and panicked disposition.

“We’re not here for that. Our friends were bought in. Agent Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid.”

She hit a few keys on her keyboard.

“And who are you? I can only release information to people authorised in their files.”

“Penelope Garcia and Y/F/N.”

She checked again. “Ah okay. The motor vehicle accident. They’re both still up in x-ray. Take a seat and I’ll someone will collect you when they’re back.”

“Are they okay though. Is Spencer okay?” Garcia had started to walk to the bank of seats but you weren’t budging until you got some information.

“I really don’t know. I’m just the desk clerk. If you take a seat a doctor will come and find you in due course.”

“And when will due course be exactly?” Her haughty tone was pissing you off. You get that she had a job to do but she could show just a little more compassion.

“When they have time to.”

“Listen lady…. I’m 37 weeks pregnant here and one of those men is the father of my child. They are Federal Agents, as are we. I need to know if he’s okay and what happened otherwise the stress and anxiety of not knowing is likely to send me into labour right here, all over your shiny floor. Do you want that?!”

You would piss yourself to make her think your waters had broken if you had to, you needed answers.

“I’ll…. I’ll make a few calls.” She reached for the handset.

“Thank you.” Smiling sweetly you turned to Penelope, seeing she suddenly had company in the form of Aaron and JJ.

“Y/N…. ” Aaron had an amused smile on his face.

“What’s happened. Is he okay Hotch? TELL ME!”

“They’re on the third floor, come on.” He started walking down the hallway to the elevator, you and Penny hurrying behind. 

“They decided they wanted to leave after all so they set off for home, the rest of the team deciding to join them. We were maybe fifteen minutes or so behind them?” He hit the button on the elevator.

“It looks like one of the tyres on the SUV blew out when they were a couple of miles outside of the city. It happened on a bend though and it caused the car to flip.” He stopped, hearing the gasp from your chest, your heart now pounding.

“Y/N he’s okay. They both are. We saw the lights from the ambulance and squad cars, it was only when we stopped that we realised it was them. They were both belted in and by some miracle seem to have escaped with cuts and bruises. Spencer had managed to free himself and was out of the car already. Morgan has sustained a concussion though. He was unconscious when the paramedics arrived but regained consciousness on the way here. They’re both just getting checked out. They should be out of xray soon.”

He pushed you lightly into the elevator, Penny and JJ following.

“So they’re okay… Spencers okay?”

“Yes. It’s seems that way.”

“Oh thank fuck for that.” You let out the biggest sigh of relief ever as the elevator rode up through the floors.

Hotch led you through the corridors until you spotted the rest of the team hovering outside two rooms.

“They’re just cleaning them up now. We’ll be able to go in, in a bit.” Rossi told you, giving you a smile.

You lowered yourself on to one of the plastic hospital chairs, your back beginning to hurt from standing.

“You okay Y/N?” Kate asked you, seeing you grimace. You liked the woman who’d taken your place within the team, you’d spent quite a while conversing with her at the BAU, and Spencer spoke highly of her profiling skills.

“Yeah, just tired and a bit achey. Do you think they’ll have to stay in overnight?”

“Special Agent Morgan will, but Dr Reid will be allowed to leave.” The Doctor had exited the room.

“Their wounds are mostly superficial, cuts and bruises. They’ll be sore for a few days. Given Agent Morgans concussion and loss of consciousness, we’ll be keeping him overnight. You can go through to see him. Which one of you is Y/N? Dr Reid has been asking for you since he got here.”

Penelope rushed through after asking which room was Morgans, Rossi and Emily following her. You stood announcing that you were Y/N.

“Ah well. I can see why he’s so anxious to get out of here then. You mustn’t have long left.” You shook your head, grimacing again. Fuck, you really did ache.

“You can go through, the nurse should just about be done with his stitches.”

You entered through the other door seeing a pretty blonde nurse stood over Reid. He looked a mess. Split lip, hair messier than usual and matted with blood, and bruises already starting to form on one side of his face. A long gash disappeared into his hair line and you could see where the nurse had stitched and was finishing cleaning it.

His eyes lit up when he saw you and he gave you a little wave, you seeing that his left hand was heavily bandage and his knuckles grazed.

“All done. Keep it dry and and clean for the next few days and come back in two weeks for them to be taken out.” The nurse handed Reid a self care leaflet, one that you’d all had multiple times. Perks of the job.

She picked up her tray and smiled at you as she exited the room.

“I…… You…… Are… ” Words just wouldn’t leave your mouth right now. You moved over to where he was sat on the bed, his legs swung over the side dangling like a little kids.

“I’m okay.” He said sheepishly. “I’m sorry if you were worried.” He reached out, his hand wrapping loosely around your wrist and rubbing the bone softly.

“Worried…… Spencer I was petrified when I got that call.”

“I’m sorry.” He said again “My cell got smashed in the crash.”

Crash.

That word. A crash could be something so small or something so huge. In this instance it was the former, but what if it had been the latter? You couldn’t bear thinking about it. Your child being without her Father. You being without Spencer.

Pardon?

Ugh… Emotions. Ignore them.

You leaned in, wrapping your arms around him and hearing him wince slightly as he moved his own arms to your waist. Breathing into to his hair you whispered to him “I’m so pleased you’re okay Spence. You have no fucking idea how happy I am. I don’t know what I’d have done if anything had happened to you.”

Okay wow… Your brain to mouth filter wasn’t working at all. What the fuck Y/N, you were making it sound like you two were a thing.

But then when he turned his head slightly, his bruised lips brushing your neck and quiet soothing words leaving his own mouth, you couldn’t help but question yourself. Were you a thing?

“Ahem…. ” Hotch clearing his throat from the corner of the room. You sprang apart from Spencer turning to see Hotch grinning again.

“You’re cleared to leave Spencer. Y/N did you drive or…….”

“I drove. And I’m definitely ready to get back to bed. This child is fidgety tonight… And she’s chosen the most uncomfortable position to lie in. I swear she’s just squeezing at my insides or something….. ”

“Drive safely then and I’ll see you in a few days Dr Reid.”

You said your goodbyes to the rest of the team, smiling at how tightly Penelope was gripping Morgans hand.

The drive home was quiet, you stuck in your head thinking as Reid played with the radio and the baby continued to cause you much discomfort. Seriously…. It felt like she was break dancing in there or something. Every few minutes you’d get the most intense pain and then it would stop.

“Are you sure you’re okay Y/N?” Reid looked concerned hearing a sharp intake of breath from you.

“I’m fine honestly. I just need some painkillers or something and to rest.” Play it down Y/N, you weren’t the one that had been in a car accident.

“Oh I like this song, turn it up.” Reid did as you commanded.

“I know just how to whisper  
And I know just how to cry  
I know just where to find the answers  
And I know just how to lie  
I know just how to fake it  
And I know just how to scheme  
I know just when to face the truth  
And then I know just when to dream”

Something strange was washing over you now. A feeling. The intense terror you’d felt from earlier resonated with this song, you remembering every word from the chorus before it even got there.

“And I know just where to touch you  
And I know just what to prove  
I know when to pull you closer  
And I know when to let you loose  
And I know the night is fading  
And I know the time’s gonna fly  
And I’m never gonna tell you everything I’ve gotta tell you  
But I know I’ve gotta give it a try

And I know the roads to riches  
And I know the ways to fame  
I know all the rules and then I know how to break ‘em  
And I always know the name of the game”

Really Y/N? You glanced over to Spencer seeing that he was looking at you too.

Oh fuck.

You really hadn’t just been scared because of the baby. Her not having a father. You’d been scared of you not having Spencer.

How though… How the actual fuck had you allowed this to happen. Oh christ, it all made so much sense now, you being jealous of him with that girl.

“But I don’t know how to leave you  
And I’ll never let you fall”

Ah crap, you did. You actually did. Did he? Do you ask him? Wait…. His hand had reached out taking the one that was resting on the gear stick and squeezing it.

“And I don’t know how you do it  
Making love out of nothing at all  
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all  
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all  
Out of nothing at all  
Making love out of nothing at all.”

You looked at him again, a shy smile on his lips. Yep. You were fairly certain you didn’t need to ask…..but still.

“Spencer…… ”

“Y/N.”

“OUCH…. Ow Ow Ow…. Mother fucking Ow.”

His eyes suddenly wide at your outburst. You signalled, pulling over to the side of the road, not able to drive anymore as the pain suddenly intensified.

Oh shit.

“Y/N?”

Your own eyes widened and moved to your lap, his following your gaze.

You both watched as your trousers suddenly grew damp.

Your waters had broken.


	22. Chapter 22

“Is that…. Is that what I think it is?” Spencer's voice had gone up a few octaves.

“Well, I’ve not pissed myself since I was 19…..college, don’t judge…OUCH, mother fuck, that hurt…So yeah,I’m fairly certain that it is, what you think it is.”

“Shit shit shit, you’re in labour. Oh my god you’re in labour. YOU’RE HAVING THE BABY. SHIT…YOU’RE HAVING OUR BABY. Oh fuck. This is actually happening.”

Wow…. Watching Spencer panic was funny, but laughter was not easing the throbbing in your womb right now. You signalled, intending to pull a U turn and go back to the hospital.

“WAIT.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN’T DRIVE, YOU’RE IN LABOUR.”

“We need to get…..ugh, ouch…. Get back to the hospital.”

“Get out of the car Y/N….” He saw you shaking your head. “GET OUT OF THE GOD DAMN CAR, IT’S NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO DRIVE.”

Christ the man could be bossy…. You kinda liked it…. Hmmm, you started to wonder if….

OUCH OUCH SHIT FUCK WANK.

Alright alright. You unbuckled, seeing that Reid was already around your side of the car, hopping impatiently from one foot to the next.

Hauling yourself out, you looked back down at the seat, seeing the darkened material.

“Sure you wanna sit there?” You asked.

“Erm……” He pulled his jacket off, balling it up and placing it on the seat as a barrier. Shrugging, you waddled around to the passenger side, getting in and belting up.

“Be careful with my baby. Elliot is the best car I’ve had, she needs a lot of love and affection…. Elliot honey, this is Spencer. He won’t hurt you. Be good for mama okay?” You rubbed the dashboard tenderly.

He started the engine, looking at you with confusion. “Are you seriously talking to your car?”

“Spencer you talk about badgers in your sleep, are you seriously fucking judging me right now?”

“I have no idea what you’re on about…. Call the hospital anyway.”

You did as he asked, wincing every few minutes in pain and then grimacing every few seconds at the noises Elliot was making. You hated anyone else driving that car.

You called the team as well, hearing they were still at the hospital.

“Hotch… Hey Hotch. We’re on our way back to the hospital….. Nah Spencers fine… FUCKING OUCH. Sorry…. Yeah I’m kinda in labour…….. Aaron… Boss man?…. You there? Oh hi Kate…..yep, yep, sure…No I haven’t….. Oh that would be…… SHIT, BOLLACKS, TWATTING OUCH!!… Sorry… Yeah that would be great. See you…. Soon.”

“You sound like you’ve got tourettes Y/N.”

“Say that again and I’ll punch you in the balls repeatedly…. Don’t look at me like that, I mean it. Just drive….and quickly. I very much need an epidural here.”

He drove as quickly as he could, parking as close to the entrance as he could get. Kate and Rossi were waiting outside for you. They were going to take your house keys and head home to pick up your hospital bags and a change of clothes for Spencer seeing as his go bag was somewhere in the car wreck.

You quickly explained where everything was and they dashed off, giving you a quick hug and giving Reid huge grins.

Spencer grabbed your hand, pulling you inside the hospital and to the elevators and up to floor seven.

The others, minus Morgan, were all there waiting for you in the waiting area. You waved at them, as Spencer spoke hurriedly to the receptionist, giving your names and details.

An orderly came out, instructing you to sit in a wheelchair and they’d take you to your room.

“I can walk?”

“It’s hospital policy ma'am.”

“Ugh… Fine.”

You allowed yourself to be wheeled into a private room, the orderly leaving you and Spencer alone with instructions to change into one of the gowns and that the Doctor and midwives would be in shortly.

Spencer helped you change, balling up your sodden clothes and tossing them into a bin. Tying the robe at the back, he moved his hands around to the front of your belly.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I’m going to be a Dad…..”

You spun around to face him, seeing a combination of glee and sheer panic on his face. Pressing your head to his chest, your arms quickly encircled his waist.

“Yes you are. And you’ll be a great one….”

His arms moved around you, rubbing your back soothingly as he kissed the top of your head.

“You’ll be a great Mom too Y/N. I just know you will. This is so scary. ”

“I know…. But… We make a great team I think Spence. An unlikely one to say the least, but a great one.”

He pulled away from you then, his eyes searching yours. “You think we make a great team?”

You nodded, desperately trying to ignore the butterflies now forming in your stomach. You could do without any extra sensations down there right now.

“I do too…. Y/N, in the car… What had you been about to say?”

You grimaced again, your eyes squeezing shut as another contraction squeezed through your uterus. Fuck these things hurt. Reid rubbed your shoulders gently until the pain was over.

Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes again taking in his concerned hazel ones.

“Spence… I realised something in the car….. Now probably isn’t the time to have this conversation, but we’ve done everything pretty backwards anyway.”

He chuckled at you, his hands still rubbing your shoulders as you continued. 

“When I got that call earlier I was petrified. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it wasn’t just because of the baby….Spencer… I… Oh god I can’t believe I’m about to say this….. I honestly thought these words would never leave my mouth ever… I… Oh god, really?… Oh this is so weird.”

“Stop rambling and say it Y/N. I feel it too. Just say it, please…..I kinda need to hear it, to know that I’m not imagining it.” He had a small smile on his lips. He knew.

And he felt it too.

YES!

Woah… Far too happy about that revelation Y/N. Okay. Three words, eight letters.

“Spencer… I…. I love…. ”

“Who’s ready to have a baby!” A perky blonde woman in pink scrubs entered your room.

Moment ruined.


	23. Chapter 23

“Who’s ready to have a baby?”

Apparently you were.

The midwife checked your file quickly.

“Okay Y/N…. Doctor Merrins is still with another patient but we have other Doctors on call here in case of any issues so don’t you worry. I’m Annie and I’ll be here for the next six hours so let’s see if I can help deliver this baby for you. I need you to hop up onto the bed now so we can see how we’re doing.”

You climbed up with Spencers help, settling down onto the pillows and wincing through another contraction.

“How often are they coming honey?”

You went to open your mouth to tell her that you hadn’t really been counting but Reid jumped in.

“They started at every three minutes but now it’s more like every 70 - 90 seconds.”

You looked at him dumbfounded.

“What!… I started counting when we were in the car. We need to know these things and I figured you’d forget.”

“Its not that I forgot… I was just in too much…… Oh fucking jesus christ…. pain to keep track.”

“Exactly. So I did it for you…. Team work right?”

Okay… Fair enough. Annie chuckled at you both, before double taking at Spencer. She obviously hadn’t been paying too much attention to the state he was in.

“Hun, what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh…. Um… I was in a car accident a few hours ago. NOT with Y/N. But we were actually on the way home from the hospital when her waters broke.”

“Okay…. You can’t be in here like this. Your clothes are bloody and filthy. Do you have anything else you can change into?”

She had a point although Reid looked mildly offended. He could still have tiny glass particles about his person and there was no way he was holding the baby like that.

You grimaced again, holding on to the side of the bed.

“Our friends have gone to get me a change of clothes as well as her hospital bags.”

“Okay well until then, theres scrubs in the top drawer of that cabinet. Go change in the bathroom and I’ll examine Y/N.”

He made eye contact, checking you were okay for him to leave and you nodded.

Once he’d left the room, Annie began her examination, attaching monitors to you before washing her hands and squirting what you could only presume was lubricant onto her hand.

“Sweetie this will feel uncomfortable. But I need you to relax.”

Uncomfortable was not the word. Having someone you didn’t know, putting their fingers inside you whilst your body was contracting was not pleasant at all.

“Okay….. I’m just going to go and grab a Doctor and see if I can’t find your partner… What’s his name now Hun?”

“Spencer, Spencer Reid… Wait… Why do you need a Doctor? What’s wrong.”

“Nothings wrong Y/N. It’s just…. You’re already at ten centimetres. Sweetie, you’re ready to start pushing.”

WHAT?

NOOOOO!

Spencer came rushing back through almost colliding with the midwife on her way out. Seeing the panicked expression on your face he quickly rushed to your side.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

You burst into tears. “I’m at ten centimetres….. I’m having a baby.”

“Why are you crying then…. It’ll be over soon.” He smoothed your hair back, his voice gentle.

“Because…. because… We’re having a baby… And it’s going to hurt. And she’s going to cry and I won’t know what to do.. And…. PISSING FUCK WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH…. oh shit… If I’m ten already… I can’t have the druuuuugs” The last part came out as a wail.

“Spencer I want the druuugs… I want the epidural.. You’re a Doctor. Tell them it’s okay…… ”

He started to chuckle at you again, still stroking your hair.

“Shhhh Shhhh. You’ll be fine. You’ve got to this stage without any medication. You’ve done soon well already…and you will know what to do. And if you don’t… We’ll fucking Google it okay. Look at this way. Some women are in labour for hours trying to get to ten centimetres. You’ve done most of it without even realising.”

“Yeah because I was distracted by the thought of you dying.”

He laughed again and the midwife returned with a female Doctor and another nurse, wheeling a crib with her.

“Hi Y/N… I’m Dr Nicolas. Dr Merrins is still held up and Annie here tells me she doesn’t think you’re going to be able to wait. How are you feeling?”

She perched on the side of the bed as if she had all the time in the word, as the nurses hurried around behind her.

“Scared… Exhausted already. Is 37 weeks too early? Also… Can I please have the drugs? I signed up for drugs.”

She patted your hand gently. “If you’re ten already then unfortunately not. We can give you gas and air but it’s likely that by the time any epidural kicks in, this baby will be born. So let’s just see how you go au natural okay? And 37 weeks used to be considered term for a lot of mothers. Baby should be fully grown already and has obviously decided that it doesn’t need those few extra weeks to cook. Do we know what we’re having here?”

“A little girl.” Spencer spoke quietly, his eyes fixed on your bump.

“And it’s the first baby for the both of you?”

You both nodded at her and you shifted uncomfortably as another contraction ripped through you. Dr Nicolas watched the monitor closely before asking “Are you feeling any pressure Y/N?”

“Yes…. Lots.”

“Okay… That means we’re ready to go.” She hopped off the bed moving to the bottom.

“Next time a contraction comes… I want you to push.”

………twenty five minutes later…….

“Come on Y/N… One more push and you’re there. One more.” The Doctor looked up at from her spot between your legs.

Panting with exertion you gripped Spencers hand tightly, trying to breathe through the intense burning pain that you felt below. You had never felt pain like this before and you were definitely never EVER doing this again. Fuck no.

Reid whispered quietly to you “You’ve got this Y/N, you’re doing so well. I’m so so soo proud of you. One more.”

Annie stood by, ready to place a towel on your tummy for when she was born. You’d been very explicit in the last fifteen minutes that you did not want any baby gunk on you, the Doctor and the midwives laughing at you.

Dr Nicolas glanced at the monitor again. "Okay Y/N… Last one.. The hard part is over. One more big push. Come on.“

You took a deep breath and pushed with all the energy and effort that you could, the pressure intense and horrific…. And then suddenly.. Nothing. Relief. Emptiness.

You heard a gasp from Spencer and opened your eyes to see a pink, slimy looking thing in the Doctors hands.

Shit…..

A baby. Your baby.

Dr Nicolas stood, placing her on the towel that was quickly put on your chest. You looked down in awe not quite knowing what to do.

“Does Dad want to cut the cord.”

Dad definitely did want to cut the cord, although you didn’t see him do it. You were too taken in by this little tiny creature that almost seemed to be clinging to you.

Annie reached for her, telling you they were just going to clean her up and weigh and measure her.

Almost as soon as she was removed from your chest, she started to cry. A high pitched squealing that sounded both glorious and horrifying all in one go.

Reid sat back down next to you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders both of you too shocked to speak. The Doctor continued to work between your legs, cleaning you up and changing the pads. You could barely feel the rest of the contractions now as the birthing process finalised.

“I’m so proud of you Y/N. So very proud.” Spencer pushed your matted hair back off your face, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“6lbs 7. Do we have a name picked out for this little cutie?” Annie asked.

“Saoirse….Saoirse Diana.” Spencer told her. Diana for both his Mother and your Grandmother, the one thing you’d shared.

“Aww how lovely. And the surname?” Her pen was poised ready to write out the tag that would go around her tiny ankle.

“Y/L/N - Reid” Spencer spoke again looking at you for confirmation.

“Actually…. Just Reid.”

Annie smiled and nodded, writing out the tag.

“Really?” Spencer whispered to you.

“Really.”

“Okay Mom, we’re all done down here now. So if you want to shift up slightly and let Dad on the bed with you, then we can bring little Saoirse back over and you can both have a hold.” Dr Nicolas stood, bundling the soiled towels and sheets away with her as you made room for Spencer.

When you were both comfortable, Annie came back over, the tiny bundle now wrapped up with a little pink hat on. You held your arms out awkwardly, Reids arm still around your shoulder tightly.

A wave of emotion hit you as she placed the tiny, almost doll like creature into your arms, Spencer gasping again as he got a closer look.

She was so warm and light…. And now that she was in your arms you didn’t want to let her go.

Spencers’ long fingers reached out, softly touching her face, stroking her chin before fingering the soft brown strands of hair that peeked out from under the little cap.

Her full lips pursed, her pink tongue poking out and you giggled, thinking how much like Reid she already was. You turned to him seeing he was doing the same thing.

“Spencer look…..”

“I am…. She’s so perfect Y/N…..I… I can believe I made that… We made that. Together.” His voice was croaky and you could hear the emotion in it and see his eyes welling up. A tear escaped from your own, travelling down your cheek.

Spencer turned to you, moving his hand and catching the tear before it fell.

“Thank you….. Thank you so much. I never…..I never thought I could feel this happy, this elated. Y/N, thank you.”

“You’re welcome ….. Spencer?”

“Hmm mm?”

“I kinda think I’m in love with you.” No time like the now right?

His hazel eyes now locked with yours.

“Kinda think?” He asked.

“Alright…. I am in love with you. I’m not sure when or how, but I am. In love with the Father of my baby. Who knew right?”

He laughed. “I love you too Y/N. Weird how things work out isn’t it?”

“Very.” You agreed, before tilting your lips to his for a soft, sweet kiss.

Hearing a snuffle , you both turned back to the baby snuggled in your arms, just sitting there watching her in contentment for a few minutes, enjoying the moment.

KNOCK KNOCK.

A face poked around the door. Penelope.

“Guys…. Can we come in? The Doctor said it was okay.”

You looked at Reid and he nodded and you whispered for him to take Saoirse now, knowing that in a few minutes she’d probably be whipped away from both of you and it was only right that he had a proper hold first.

Penelope let out a quiet squeal, and opened the door, her and the rest of the team crowding around you both. Kate and Rossi placed your bags in the corner and joined them. Even Morgan was there, somehow convincing the Doctors to let him come up.

“Spence, Y/N….. She’s beautiful.” JJ gushed, everyone else echoing her sentiments.

Aaron came and stood by your side. “How does it feel?”

“Still no less terrifying than it did all those months ago… But, it feels right, now.”

Spencer slid of the bed, baby in his arms and the biggest smile on his face, everyone clambering around him to look.

You held your arms up to Aaron for a hug which he returned quickly.

“Thank you, for everything Hotch. You’ve been there for me throughout and I couldn’t have done any of this without you. You’ve been like my surrogate Dad and I really hope you’ll continue doing that for us.” You whispered to him quietly, hearing him murmuring his congratulations in response before pulling away. Was that….. was that a tear in his eyes? Nooooo. It couldn’t be.

And yet it was. He smiled at you again before making his way over to Spencer to have a look at the baby he’d seen on screen and felt kick all those weeks ago.

“Guys what’s her name?” Emily asked.

“Yeah…. Did you ever solve the argument of her last name.” Morgan spoke.

“We did….. So welcome to the world… Saoirse Diana Reid.” You grinned seeing the expressions of happiness on the girls faces and the proud grins on the mens.   
…..

It was only later when the team had gone home and Spencer was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room feeding Saoirse with a bottle, that you realised how truly happy you felt.

Maybe you weren’t going to be so bad at this after all.

And with Spencer by your side, you kinda felt like you could do anything.


	24. Chapter 24

...... Five months later.....

"Guys that was a beautiful ceremony but I need to get that little guy off to bed." JJ nodded over to the garden chair where Henry was currently slumped over, fast asleep.

"It's long past Jacks bedtime too, so I think we'll head off as well." Aaron ruffled his sons hair, looking down to where Jack was sat holding Saoirse, still utterly transfixed by her.

Five months had passed since the birth of your daughter. Five.... You were meant to say glorious months, but you'd be lying.

You'd been exhausted for the first three months and how Spencer had not upped and left, you didn't know.

Saoirse had been a colicky baby and for two months immediately after she'd been born you'd barely had any sleep. You'd yelled at Reid so many times and then broken down crying afterwards, scared he'd leave.

He hadn't though. And he'd been patient and kind and loving with both you and her. She was, almost annoyingly, a complete Daddy's girl. Her face lit up when he entered the room and nights when she wouldn't settle for you, she'd settle for him. But then there was also nights she'd cry and cry for you and only your lullaby would soothe her, so that made you feel needed again.

Once the colic had passed and you'd gotten into a routine, life had become much more enjoyable. She was generally a happy baby. But gosh, she liked to be talked to though. Reids fault, you'd always thought. Those damn books on tape he'd made you play to her whilst she was inside.

Whenever you were pottering around the house cleaning, you had to give her a running commentary of what you were doing. Or else she'd cry. So anyone walking past your kitchen window when it was open would hear something along the lines of:

"Mommy's cleaning Little S.... Cleaning up Daddy's freaking coffee and sugar mess.... Oh look, Daddy has actually emptied the dishwasher... Well done Daddy, first time all week. If only we could teach him to... Why is there a book in the fridge? Little S, did you put the book there? I know I didn't. What shall we do with it? Hide it from Daddy? Yes let's hide it......"

Yours and Spencers relationship had surprised no one else but yourselves. Everyone in the team admitted that they'd thought you two were perfect for each other for a long while, long before you were even pregnant. You'd settled into a partnership nicely, the feelings you had for him only growing stronger with each day. He'd moved into your bedroom once you were home from the hospital, although up until a month ago there'd been no.... funny business. You'd been far too sore at first and then, just scared.

But it had happened, and he'd reassured you afterwards that it felt exactly the same and it definitely was NOT baggy. And now Saoirse was settled into a routine and you had more energy, you were starting to get to know each other again in the bedroom. Condoms were definitely not being forgotten this time though, and at your Doctors urging, you'd had the coil fitted.

You were still off work on maternity leave and would remain off for another month. You were returning to the BAU but only part time and only in an office based position for now. You'd help Garcia with the technical side of things and keep the filing up to date. Kate was staying on as your replacement, and having you in the office as well meant that in theory, filing wouldn't build up as much. 

Spencer and you had found a Nanny that was coming to spend three days a week with Saiorse, a middle aged woman named Julie. You'd interviewed for weeks before finally coming across her. It was the bag of books that she'd bought with her that had sold her to Reid, and her no nonsense attitude that had sold her to you.

Today, had been the naming ceremony. Penelope had planned the whole thing, completely taking over your house when you'd given her permission to do so. Neither you or Spencer were religious so Penelope had performed the ceremony herself, giving each of the team things to say and do throughout.

When it had come to appointing legal guardians in case of emergency, you'd selected Aaron and Spencer had selected JJ. They'd both been elated and the choices made total sense for both of you. Aaron had been there throughout and him and Jack were a continued presence, coming over at least once a week if they could. Jack was smitten with Saoirse, the little girl that had kicked him when she was inside you. It was adorable to see him sitting and reading to her and you and Aaron couldn't help but make eyes over the top of his head wondering if perhaps your prediction from the hospital room all those months ago, would come true. JJ had been a great help to you as well, on hand to offer motherly advice which you knew you wouldn't get from your own mother.

Your own mother hadn't been to see her new grandchild, and you hadn't expected her to. She'd sent a Tiffany rattle and some cashmere baby blankets along with a bottle of champagne but that had been it. You'd invited her to today's ceremony out of courtesy, not surprised to receive a note with her apologies. Lia, however had made an effort. Since reaching out to you that night she'd call at least once a week and both her and George, along with their children had come down for the day, checking into a hotel nearby. It was strange, embarking on a relationship with a sibling you'd grown up hating, but you were taking baby steps and were actually coming to realise that you had more in common with each other than you'd initially thought.

Diana had been able to make the trip as well, with the assistance of an aid. You and Spencer had visited Vegas when Little S was two months old and the look on the womans face as she'd held the granddaughter she thought she'd never get was enough turn the water works on for both you and the nurses in the room. When she'd heard that you and Reid were now a couple, her grin had become even wider and as she'd embraced you when it was time to leave, all she could do was whisper "thank you" to you, over and over.

Once Aaron and JJ announced their intentions to leave, it seemed to signal leaving time for the other guests too. The team were coming over tomorrow to help tidy up so you sent Spencer off to put Saoirse to bed as you saw the last of the guests out and locked up.

You were exhausted, happy but exhausted. As you climbed the stairs to bed you could hear the sound of Spencer singing quietly to her.

The boy couldn't sing for shit, for it was still the sweetest and cutest thing hearing him trying to soothe her to sleep with the lullaby you'd sang to her when she was snug inside your tummy.

You leant against the nursery door for a moment, watching him in the wooden rocking chair, adoration all over his face.

You smiled and let out a happy sigh. Spencer heard you, glancing up and grinning at you. "I'll put her down in a minute, I just want to make sure she's fast off."

"Okay.... Don't be too long." You headed into your bedroom, taking your make up off and getting ready for bed.

Sitting there, an idea began to form in your head. There was only one thing that bothered you about this whole situation and that was...... The babys surname. You didn't regret giving her the surname Reid, it meant more to him that it did to you.

But you weren't lying when you'd said that you wanted your children to have the same surname as you. And you loved Spencer, more than you dared to admit sometimes.

As he walked into the bedroom, looking handsome as hell with his shirt sleeves rolled up and the buttons undone at the collar, it became clear to you what needed to happen.

"Spence.... Come here a second." You reached out your arm for him, taking his hand as he came closer and pulling him down next to you on the bed.

"Today was good wasn't it?" You asked him.

"Today was amazing Y/N. What's wrong... You look, well... Kinda lost in your own thoughts again."

"Nothings wrong. In fact, for the first time in my life everything is actually going right. Spence, you and Saoirse, you're all that I never knew I wanted. I never imagined I could feel this much love for another human being, let alone two human beings. I love you both so much."

"Y/N, it still feels so amazingly strange to hear you say those words to me. Strange but so very right. And you know that I love you too. I adore you, not just for giving me Little S, but for giving me you. " He started to kiss your cheek, moving from one to the other, pushing your hair aside as he did.

Stopping him, you slid off the bed onto the floor so that you were kneeling before him.

"What are you doing?" He looked confused.

"Spence..... We've done everything else totally backwards so we might as well break tradition here too. I never wanted children. And... I never really wanted marriage either. But now I've got one, and I've got a partner that I love wholeheartedly..... I kinda want the other."

You took a deep breath, hearing a soft "oh my god" leave his lips as he realised where this was going.

"Spencer Reid, will you marry me?"

He burst out laughing.

Okay.

Not the reaction you expected.

Seeing the hurt expression on your face, he quickly tried to rectify his actions.

"No no no, Y/N, I'm not laughing at you... I promise." He climbed off the bed, rummaging in his sock drawer before joining you on the floor and kneeling in front of you.

"I was..... Erm, I was going to give you this on your birthday in two weeks. I kinda had it all planned out, fancy meal, tickets to see a band I know you like. But seeing as you've spoilt the supprise." He grinned at you before holding out a tiny velvet box.

Opening it, you saw the most beautiful white gold engagement ring, purple amethysts and diamonds adorning it.

"So.... My answer, Y/N, is yes... If you'll marry me."

You nodded, laughing together as he took your hand and slid the ring onto your finger before pulling you in for a breathtaking kiss.

"Oh the others are going to go mental tomorrow when we tell them." You giggled.

"Probably not you know, they seemed to have been more sure about us all along than we have." He stood, reaching down for your hands ready to pull you up. "Now, how tired are you exactly? Because I think we've got some celebrating to do."

Looking at up at him at laughing again, you reached for his belt.

"Dr Reid, I think I'm in a fairly good position to start the celebrations off, don't you?"

He looked down at you seeing your eyebrows raised and getting your meaning. Licking his lips he groaned "Well.. You are down there already right?"

You pushed him lightly into sitting position onto the edge of the bed and started undoing his trousers.

"Exactly."


End file.
